Hello, friends and enemies. I’m happy to report that my braces are starting to hurt less. I was very stressed out about it last week but, after a few days, the pain went down, although my mouth is still a little sensitive. It’s been two weeks so I have switched to the next set of aligners. I was worried that they would hurt as bad as the original set did, but thankfully it doesn’t. I’m uncomfortable but not to the point that I feel like it’s not worth taking the braces out to eat, which is what I was afraid of. I’m still not thrilled about the whole ordeal but body maintenance is never ending.
Current Events
I had been mulling over another topic entirely but the US has officially started bombing Iran, so we shall save it for another day. This isn’t going to be my most organized and well thought-out essay, just some thoughts as our idiot president formally kicks off World War III (currently still described on wikipedia as a “hypothetical future global conflict”).
Al-Jazeera reports that the US has bombed three cities in Iran, including Isfahan, which, in addition to being home for almost 4 million people, is the location of one the most famous pieces of Muslim architecture, the Shah Mosque. I’m so tired of this country running endless wars in the middle east. People online have been joking about how this is a repeat of the Iraq war, with just one letter changed and I can’t disagree. It’s okay to leave Middle Eastern countries alone, actually.
The US military used B-2 stealth bombers to carry out the attacks. Each of these planes costs $2 billion. This is what our country is spending money on. Meanwhile, for just one example, in the US we have a child poverty rate of about 14 percent, which more than doubled after the expanded Child Tax Credit (part of the American Rescue Plan Act in 2021) expired since the government chose not to renew it. Granted, it would cost more than three B-2 planes to lift America’s children out of poverty, with an estimated $1.6 trillion to make the expanded child tax credit permanent. Still, this country, when given the option to prioritize its citizens, chooses global hegemony and violence every time. Experts estimate that the US spent $3 trillion on the war in Iraq. The war in Afghanistan cost $8 trillion. How much will a pointless war in Iran cost? We seem to have money for everything except the things that would improve conditions for the people who live here. I hate that my tax dollars get funneled into killing people and destroying things in other countries.
I guess I’m not surprised that we’re at war with Iran since Trump seems to be obsessed with it. There is, of course the classic tweet from 2013 where Trump claims Obama will attack Iran (projection, I suppose). And does anyone else remember that week in 2020 when we were all on pins and needles wondering if Trump was going to drop a nuclear bomb on Iran? This fucking asshole just wants to bomb people. There’s also the well-documented history of Trump pushing for the US to “partner with the Soviet Union on nuclear weapons, basically for the two empires to use nuclear weapons in tandem in order to intimidate other countries.” Really cool, stable stuff here.
By the way, Congress has not authorized a war. I’m not sure the constitution is worth much at this point, but it is still officially the job of Congress to say whether we can do a war or not. I guess that doesn’t matter. Sixty percent of Americans don’t want a war, but we’re not letting that stop us!
Anyway, here we are. It’s the third (? Or maybe just year 22 of the same) Middle East war in my lifetime. Why the fuck are we doing this again.
Books and Other Words
You probably won’t be surprised to learn that I found Claiming the B in LGBT: Illuminating the Bisexual Narrative edited by Kate Harrad on the shelves at the Lavender Library. It’s a collection of essays on topics related to the bisexual experience and most of the essays feature anecdotes from bisexual people who seem to have participated in a survey at a bisexual convention in the UK. I’ve appreciated getting some perspective from bisexual literature lately because I didn’t realize I was bisexual until a little later on and I’m obviously in a committed heterosexual relationship, so I have felt somewhat out of touch with it all. However, it seems to be a very common experience to not realize right away that you’re neither straight nor gay and that can be a shock to one’s identity. The book takes on a lot of subjects, beyond simply discovering one’s sexuality and coming out, that intersect with bisexuality like race, disability, and aging. One comment that stuck out to me from the chapter on disability was that “a concern for lots of the disabled bi people we talked to was that having more than one label will make people think they’re trying to be too special. This is hard when society already tells you bisexuals are greedy and attention-seeking.” That’s so true. It can feel like asking too much to have people take in more than one facet of me that’s not the norm. I don’t really believe that, and I think I deserve to be accepted in all my strange and derivative ways, but out in normal culture it doesn’t always feel that way. In any case, this is a good read if you’re looking for a pulse check on what bisexuals are thinking about.
I read Marguerite Duras’s The Lover for an online book club that one of my friends was participating in. I ultimately didn’t join the book club but wanted to read along with my friend! This is kind of a weird little book. The prose is haunting and the story is told through the dreamy haze of trauma. The Lover is autobiographical fiction about Duras growing up in what is now Vietnam (and what was then French Indochina) with her mother and two brothers. The unnamed main character goes to a French school and spends most of the narrative talking about her family being shitty and her assignations with her “lover” (also unnamed), a wealthy, young Chinese man. Notably, a man who is almost 30 while the protagonist is 15 or 16. So … gross. It’s not really clear why the protagonist decides to spend time with this man other than a spirit of contrariness. It doesn’t seem like she particularly likes him, or even men at all; the only named character in the story is her dorm-mate, about whose perfect breasts she rhapsodizes for at least two full pages. So, that’s certainly a choice.
Meanwhile, on the internet:
- Senator Alex Padilla handcuffed and forcibly removed from Kristi Noem’s LA press conference via The Guardian. Why the fuck is the FBI tackling our elected representative? This does not bode well for us.
- You sound like ChatGPT via The Verge. Using large language models like ChatGPT is changing how human people talk to each other! ChatGPT seems to have some favorite words and they are now in more frequent rotation among humans. This part made me laugh: “researchers suspect that AI influence is starting to show up in tone, too — in the form of longer, more structured speech and muted emotional expression.” Congratulations AI, you are making everyone sound more autistic. We salute you.
Corporeal Form
I ended up going to the doctor this week and I was extremely surprised to have found someone who seems to really be paying attention. Regular readers may recall that I have been struggling to find a good primary care doctor. I liked the one I had over the last year, but she left Kaiser so I had to pick someone new. Fortunately, I seem to have made a perfect choice this time and the new doctor is even better than the last. My appointment lasted almost an entire hour, which is simply unheard of. I made the appointment because in dance class this week, I was feeling so warm and lightheaded that I thought something must be wrong. However, the doctor seems to think I’m just a certain type of white person with a very low tolerance for heat (what a great time to be alive for me then, lol). Before we talked about that, I told her I wanted to review everything going on with my body. I made a list on my phone of all the ailments and it low-key sounds like the disclaimer section of a prescription drug commercial. The doctor actually had follow-up questions about my ailments and referred me for some tests! I mentioned osteopenia and she asked me how I knew I had that. It came up in a test result years ago but apparently never migrated to my chart. She said I am young for osteopenia and I sighed because I’ve been hearing “You’re young for that” a lot lately. However, this doctor actually took the next step and wondered why a relatively young person has osteopenia and referred me for some tests. What a crazy idea! I am hopeful that I can get some better healthcare now.
When I got my labs done for the osteopenia stuff I also had to get a test for my liver enzymes, which one of my doctors is monitoring now because of the fatty liver situation (by the way, “fatty liver” is being rebranded as “steatotic liver disease,” nice of them to not just put fat in the name). In March, my enzymes spiked for no reason known to me. The doctor in charge of my liver, who is unfortunately a specialist and not my new, good doctor, told me to test again in three months and asked no additional questions. Well, test results show that my enzymes are still going up sharply. I’m not sure why but it is stressing me out because I’m trying to manage it with eating certain foods, taking an omega-3 supplement, etc. I’m certainly not drinking alcohol so I don’t know what’s happening. I’m not looking forward to talking to the doctor about it because the only thing she has ever told me to do is lose weight, but according to other medical professionals, that isn’t the only thing to do. In fact, my new doctor told me that refined sugar is bad for the liver. This sounds obvious now that I hear it, but no one had actually told me that before. Might have been nice to have this kind of information! I’ve been fairly stressed and upset about this. It’s hard to try really hard to take care of myself and simply not have it work.
Moving It
Given all the health stuff, I feel like I really need to get into a positive feedback loop and start lifting weights again. I am at dance class three times a week but I know—and my doctor emphasized this for me—that resistance training is the main thing I can do to take care of my bones and my body. It’s hard though because I am tired, but I think I will have more energy if I have more muscles. Unfortunately, that means I have to just do it tired for a while. So, for what feels like the fifth or sixth time now, I went out to clean the garage and make it habitable for gym activity. For my birthday, my dad sent me a huge fan for the garage gym and I finally got that set up. It seems like it really moves some air! We also cleaned the garage and moved the stationary bike/rower that was in our bedroom to the gym. We haven’t been able to use it because Fritz craves violence and bites the foam seat if he has a chance. I’ve had it all mummified in blankets, which of course makes it deeply inconvenient to use, so I have not. I’m hoping it will be easier now that it’s in the garage, especially since Kirk set up a TV out there. We have a great setup, I just need to use it.
Kitchen Witchery
I usually try to avoid re-posting recipes or only posting new or novel food but that’s left me without much food stuff to talk about since my repertoire is getting pretty big. So, here’s some kind of basic but good food. I am still making snow cones. This week, I tried root beer flavor and I liked it. Kirk hated it but that’s okay. It’s a polarizing experience. On Friday, we had Mandy and her daughter over for dinner so I grilled tri tip, using a recipe from Latin Grilling for a chili rub and honey-lime glaze and we enjoyed it. I also made rice krispie treats with rainbow sprinkles.
Cat Therapy
Finally, here are some cat photos for your nerves. He’s been really into hanging out in his carrier lately. I put it under a table in the bedroom and he seems to think it’s the ultimate spot for being left alone.
