the world around us/weekly update

A Week in the Hellscape: Roe v. Wade Is Overturned Edition

Posted on by Lindsey

The Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade on Friday and it’s basically all I can think about. So, instead of my usual blog, I’m sharing some thoughts and resources, for whatever it’s worth.

I think some of you will think I’m overreacting. To this I say: I would love to be wrong. However, experts in law, privacy, and reproductive justice are sounding the alarm in stark terms. This is a time to prepare for the worst even if it might not happen.

I will also make my usual caveat that I’m not an expert on any of these things in particular. I’m good at reading and gathering information. Putting a post together like this helps my anxiety. If it helps anyone else, that’s a wonderful treat.

Historical Context

I want to highlight that corporations using data to know too much about you is not new. Ten years ago, we learned that Target might know if you’re pregnant before you or your family does. Furthermore, women have already gone to jail over miscarriages. We also know that the Trump administration was tracking detailed information about periods and pregnancies of the migrant women and girls they were holding in custody. I’m sharing these links to show that it’s not far-fetched to think that corporations might know you’re pregnant or that the government might take you to court over a miscarriage or stillbirth. It’s not just that it will happen with Roe overturned, it’s that this already has happened. This is why we have to be careful. The infrastructure of surveillance already exists.

Internet Privacy

Because we do most of our work and communicating online, locking down your internet presence as much as possible is extremely important.

The Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) has a Surveillance Self-Defense toolkit that walks you through what you can do to secure your online presence. This isn’t specific to abortion, but there is a lot of helpful information to securing your personal data in our high-surveillance tech environment. One of the EFF’s recommendations is to use a virtual private network (VPN), which is a way to obscure your physical location to people snooping on your online activity and to secure your data from your internet service provider. I am personally thinking about getting the Mozilla VPN for a little extra internet security.

The Digital Defense Fund has published a guide to Keeping Your Abortion Private & Secure, which offers internet security advice specific to getting an abortion.

Social media companies like facebook/instagram, twitter, and whatsapp will not hesitate to share your private messages with law enforcement. I highly recommend getting Signal for messages. Signal messages are encrypted and no outside parties can access them, including law enforcement.

Another way to help keep your searches private is to use a search engine like DuckDuckGo, which doesn’t collect data like Google does. Here’s a guide on how to change your default search engine in Firefox.

Existing Networks and Resources

Handbook for a Post-Roe America

As more of us get involved in reproductive justice, we need to support the many organizations that already exist. I know we are all feeling desperate to help and just do something but telling strangers you’re happy to have them visit you for “camping” is not the answer. Existing abortion networks have pointed out that they’ve been doing this work for decades and have the infrastructure in place to keep people save. It’s one thing to invite a friend to stay with you, but strangers can’t trust that we aren’t going to snitch. Abortion networks vet people who drive or offer places to stay in advance. The best thing to do is get in touch with your local abortion network to volunteer or to send money. Hell, you don’t even have to send money to a local network. Send money to one in any state.

The National Network of Abortion Funds has a directory or abortion providers to reference if you need an abortion or if you’re looking for a fund to support. I recently set up a monthly donation to northern California’s Women’s Health Specialists, which has offices in Redding, Grass Valley, and Sacramento.

I highly recommend Robin Marty’s book The New Handbook for a Post-Roe America: The Complete Guide to Abortion Legality, Access, and Practical Support. I read the original guide a few years ago and found it very informative. This book is a great practice resource and gives some background on the ongoing work in the field.

California Thoughts

I live in California where we are lucky to still have legal abortion and not have any shitty trigger laws like many states. In fact, California is going in the opposite direction. The governor signed a law that “seeks to protect those in California from civil liability for providing, aiding, or receiving abortion care in the state,” which is great. I hope California remains a safe haven for women’s health. However, I still think we need to be cautious and prepared for the worst. I’ve seen experts say that authoritarianism moves fast. Once you hit a tipping point, the madness speeds up. So, while I hope we remain safe here in California, I don’t want to count on it.

Do Something

It feels like we’re all screaming into the void right now (no shade to screaming into the void). I think most of us who aren’t already involved in this work need to get in touch with existing organizations, get offline, and do the work. Here are some of my ideas for what to do:

  • Get informed. Pick some reliable sources (not infinite doom scrolling!) and follow them. Pick a publication, an expert with a blog or twitter feed, or a book like Crow After Roe and make sure you know what you’re doing.
  • Take an EMT or Basic Life Support course. If you’re interested in health care, this is a way you can provide tangible support in your community.
  • Send money. I know I already said find your local abortion fund and send money, but I’m saying it twice because what most people really need is money to go where the abortions are and pay for health care.
  • Start volunteering for an existing organization, learn what they need, then figure out how your skills can help.
  • Shut up online. Stop talking about your plans publicly on the internet. Take it to a secure messaging or email. Again, I would love to find out that I’m being over-cautious but I don’t think that’s true. Get your online security in order now before things get worse.
  • Build community: Local community is what’s going to get us through this. Connect with people near you (not just about abortion rights) and be ready to support each other when things are hard.

If you have an idea that I missed, let me know in the comments and I will add it to the list!

Funny Pictures

Like many of you, I have been coping with this by looking at and sharing internet memes. Perhaps these will cheer you a little as they have me. I know this is all very serious, but if I don’t laugh, I will cry.

an illustration of a naked man (censored) running around in front of a pizza hut with overlaid text that says "God has allowed me to live another day and I'm about to make it everyone's problem" and a caption "Every supreme court justice"
a collage of screaming opossums that says "Feminine mood board: United States Edition"
Caption is "Earth's U.S. Supreme Court, 2022 (colorized)." Images are from Star Trek: The Next Generation in which Q shows how shitty humanity was in the 21st century and holds a trial
three stills from the 1990s Addam's Family movie that show Morticia saying 1. And our credo: sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. 2. We gladly feast on those who would subdue us. 3. Not just pretty words.

Cat Therapy

This isn’t a regular blog post but I still think you might want some cat photos for your nerves.

Fritz the cat lounging on the bed with his front legs extended in front of him
Fritz being cute part 1
Fritz the cat, lying on his side, curled like a croissant and stretching his legs out as he wakes up
Fritz getting in a stretch
weekly update

Two Weeks in the Life: June 12, 2022

Posted on by Lindsey

I usually try to start my posts with whatever big thoughts are on my mind but my head is empty today. I’ve been trying to stay cool, relaxed, and entertained the last two weeks. Still, I wanted to write about what I’ve been up to even though I don’t have anything too exciting to discuss.

Consuming

Here are some things I’ve recently read, watched, or bought.

Books and Other Words

I’ve been reading a little more lately! I’m sure that’s in part due to the hot weather. I am spending a lot of time on the cool side of the house, which is not the side with computers and the TV. In non-fiction, I read Ballet in the Cold War: A Soviet-American Exchange by Ann Searcy. This is a study of a sliver of history in which the U.S. and the USSR agreed to send ballet companies to tour in each other’s countries. It’s interesting for the historical drama, certainly, but I learned a lot from the discussions on how audiences in different countries perceive and evaluate ballet and art.

In fiction, I read Fevered Star by Rebecca Roanhorse and When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill. Fevered Star is the sequel to Black Sun. It’s a fantasy set in pre-columbian America with lots of intrigue and magic. Now, unfortunately, I must wait for the next book. When Women Were Dragons is a magical-realist take on the 20th century in which women can turn into dragons. However, it’s considered taboo and un-American to speak of it. The book asks: what would happen if women could channel their rage and unleash their power?

hardback book: Ballet in the Cold War. The cover is black with an image of a male dancer lifting a female dancer into the air
Ballet in the cold war
book cover for Fevered Star shown in greyscale on kobo ereader. Cover featurse a woman's face with burts of light radiating out in all directions
Fevered Star
hardback book: When Women Were Dragons. Cover is a riot of dark-green leaves and purple flowers with dragons snaking through them
When Women Were Dragons

Meanwhile, on the internet:

  • The bleak spectacle of the Amber-Heard-Johnny Depp trial via The Present Age. So, I did not follow this trial but I was grateful for this explanation after the fact. Most of the commentary I’ve seen is “they’re both assholes,” but it looks like the facts don’t support that. The most telling and troubling thing to me is that she’s more than 20 years younger than he is. It’s hard to believe that they would both be assholes in a relationship with such a big age and power imbalance.
  • It’s time to bring back the AIM away message via Wired. Maybe we need to find a way to shift the social expectation that everyone is always ready and able to communicate.

Rampant Consumerism

Fritz has been a big proponent of using the couch as a scratching post despite the proliferation of scratching posts around the house. We recently theorized that he preferred the couch because it’s tall and he can stretch all the way out. So we bought a new post that’s almost three feet tall. It took him a few days to figure it out (and numerous instances of me picking him up and putting his paws on it). But once he realized it was for scratching he was like OH and now he loves it.

Fritz the cat standing up on his back legs and scratching the post. He's looknig off to the side
Fritz enjoying the new scratching post
Fritz sitting on top of the new scratching post
a new perch

Making Things and Doing stuff

There are some things I’ve made and stuff I’ve done.

Languages

The last couple of weeks I’ve been finally getting back into studying Icelandic and I do feel like it’s coming back to me. It was there all along! I get frustrated because I feel like I’ve been learning it long enough that I should know more. Even though I started in 2016, I’ve had breaks and I’m not in school full time, I’m just learning when I can fit it into my schedule, so I know I have to accept that I’m just going at my own pace. But it’s still annoying.

Kitchen Witchery

I am excited to report that I have finally made a bakewell tart. It’s something that comes up on basically every episode of the Great British Bake Off. It turns out it’s not that complicated, it’s just a tart with jam and an almondy paste. Brits will lose their mind over any old baked good I guess. It was tasty but not the end-all be-all of baking. This week I also took on a variation of the everything bagel loaf. This one was good but I think I preferred the last version I made. However, I might take the idea of putting the seasoning into the loaf and incorporate that into my other recipe.

I tried a new salad recipe from my favorite new cookbook, Grist. I wasn’t sure how good it would be because I’m not a huge salad-lover, but this cookbook hasn’t let me down yet, so I tried it. It was actually really good! Kirk said he’d happily eat it again too. The fritters are made from split peas, soaked for a while, then pulverized in the food processor with some flavorings and fried on the stove. Surprisingly tasty!

bread and things

a slice of tart on a black plate. the tart has a thin layer of jam on the botton, an almondy paste, and is covered in almond slivers. A red tart pan with the rest of the tart is in the background.
bakewell tart
a round loaf of bread covered in everything bagel seasoning. The photo shows the cross-section of the loaf.
Everything loaf round two
an attempt at a fancy salad. A plate of spinach topped with carrot ribbons, sliced split pea fritters, and bacon vinaigrette
split-pea fritter salad with bacon vinaigrette

Cat Therapy

Finally, here are some cat photos for your nerves. I am proud of Huey because she has been more assertive lately. Until recently, the blue cat bed was strictly Fritz territory. Huey said “fuck it” and sleeps there now too. No fights have ensued over it (yet).

Huey the cat lounging on the dining table. She's lying on her side, the underside of her chin to the sky, and her front legs splayed out in front of her
A relaxed Huey
Huey the cat sitting in a round pet bed that's got blue fluff around the outside. Huey is looking at the camera.
Huey taking over
Fritz the cat lounging in a pile of kitchen towels, with one draped over his head that he is peeking out from under
veiled Fritz
weekly update

A Week in the Life: May 30, 2022

Posted on by Lindsey

Why, hello there. This post should rightly be more than a “week in the life” because it’s been a solid six weeks since my last post. However, I’m declaring content bankruptcy on the intervening weeks and starting with the present. Anarchy.

a sign in front of a classroom door with a room number and a sign taped on that says "DELE C1 21/05/2022"
DELE time

Last month I was highly distracted by the Spanish test (the DELE, diploma of Spanish as a foreign language) I’d been planning to take for the last two years. I wasn’t studying nonstop but it was occupying a lot of my mental processing power. Hence, no new blog posts. But last weekend we finally did the the damn thing! I actually got to take the test this time. I think it went well. I felt really confident in the reading and writing portions, okay in the speaking, and a little iffy in the listening. I won’t know how I did for two to three months. I assume because they are transporting the tests on horseback to a port on the east coast, then taking them by boat to Spain to be assessed in the motherland.

I took the test in Seattle and made the most of the trip. I stayed with my friend Kira and her dog Poppy Marie, which was lovely. After the test, I drove to Orcas Island to visit my friend Shannon and her family. I’d never been to Orcas before, but it was beautiful! I would like to move there immediately.

me, in sunglasses, smiling at the camera. Boat stuff, water, and land with a bunch of rocks and pine trees in the background
on the ferry to Orcas
a beach on Orcas island in the daytime. Green trees, driftwood, blue water, and a sailboat in the distance
daytime Orcas
A view of the water at Orcas island at sunset. There are trees in shadow to one side and the shiloutte of a man in a hat on a very small boat
Orcas at twilight
picture taken at sunset on the end of a pier. Three women in silhoutte
Em, Bailey, and Shannon

Consuming

Here are some things I’ve recently read, watched, or bought.

Books and Other Words

I managed to read a few books in the last month despite everything.

hardcover book: Servant Mage by Kate Elliott. The cover features a dragon hugging some kind of orb of light
Servant Mage
hardcover book: Skyward Inn by Aliya Whitely. The cover is a bunch of colorful blobs
Skyward Inn
hardcover book: Left Behind: The Democrats' Failed Attempt to Solve Inequality. Cover features the book title on what looks like flyers collaged all over
Left Behind: The Democrats’ Failed Attempt to Solve Inequality
  • Servant Mage by Kate Elliott. I really liked this novella about a world where some people have magic. The story depicts revolutionaries and the moral uncertainty of building power.
  • Skyward Inn by Aliya Whiteley. This book was good but had a creepy factor that I didn’t expect (life is generally creepy enough for me, thanks). Aliens, bad parenting, isolationist groups splitting off from high-tech society, Lovecraftian horror. There’s a lot here.
  • Left Behind: The Democrats’ Failed Attempt to Solve Inequality by Lily Geismer. This is an interesting slice of political history chronicling the last 40 years of the Democratic Party and their efforts to help the poor through neoliberal policy. We get a tour of the obsession with microlending (just give people money!), housing vouchers (just make more housing!), charter schools (just fund schools!) and more. It’s weird to read about history I lived through but wasn’t aware of at the time (I was a child in the 1990s).

TV and Music

There is a lot of great TV right now! I’m loving the new season of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars with a cast of all previous winners. I’m also enjoying the new Star Trek series Strange New Worlds, which is set just before the original series. It’s a really fun Star Trek and has a bit of that retro-futurism vibe.

Rampant Consumerism

My best purchase recently has been these cat feeder toys. Fritz has been obsessed with food since kittenhood; we have an automatic feeder that releases food throughout the day and he always races for it. He also lurks around hoping for more food throughout the day, then shovels it into his mouth as fast as possible. The food toys have been great for him. He does shake food out of them in the lowest-effort way he can, which I must admire, but he has been way less fixated on the food machine and the toys slow down his eating and give him something to do.

Making Things and Doing Stuff

I do want to point out that there is an election in a week! I am not able to make a voter guide for this primary, but I do plan to make one for the general election in November. If anyone has questions about the ballot, feel free to message me and we can talk through them. This is the primary election, so I encourage you all to vote with your heart for the candidates you like and not just for who you think will win. I hope you vote because it is one tool of many for enacting change. This election in particular has a lot of local stuff like county supervisor and state legislators, and those elections actually affect our lives.

I recognize that talking about voting feels extremely useless in the face of another horrific school shooting. I haven’t commented much on recent shootings on social media because I don’t know what to say and I don’t think adding my voice to the chorus of distress does anything. However, I will say that no one needs to have access to automatic weapons. I don’t know how anyone expects young people to learn when they are living with the threat of school shootings. If I had children, I know I would be struggling with whether to send them to school ever again. We are traumatizing a generation. And for what? So angry young white men can feel briefly powerful? I think students, parents, and teachers should go on strike. Schools are funded based on attendance. I hope students refuse to attend school until the adults in this country can figure out how to make it safe for them. I wish I could to more, but I’m not sure what. If you decide to home school your kid and want me as a guest lecturer, let me know, I suppose.

Knitting and Crafts

In other news, I made these socks! The teacher who runs my jazz and tap classes is moving away so I made her some socks as a parting gift. I was gratified that she didn’t realize at first that I had made the socks. My sock game is strong! The pattern is Red Robin Socks on Ravelry and I used Hedgehog Fibers sock yarn in “artifact” as the main color.

socks in a greyish yarn with pops of varigated color, blue cuff, heel and toe
Red Robin socks

Moving It

me, looking like a cyborg or something. I'm wearing a face mask and glasses. I have a red/green 3D lenses on plus a "flipper" set of lenses that chances the magnification. It's too much for one face.
this is what vision therapy looks like

I am still doing vision therapy. We’re 38 weeks in and still going, although I am hoping it won’t be too much longer. My therapist said let’s plan for 44 for now and see how I’m doing in a few weeks. I know I have improved (I didn’t even get motion sick during my travels last weekend!) but I really want to be done. We are currently working on trying to get me to maintain my focus on a point in space without having something to use as a focal point. This is surprisingly difficult. Vision therapy has me continually reflecting on the fact that I’ve been living my life on hard mode up to this point. My eyes don’t look where I want them to look. I can’t believe it took so long for anyone to notice.

Kitchen Witchery

I put everything bagel mix on a loaf of bread. Great idea or greatest idea?

a loaf of bread with everything bagel topping
my best idea this year

Cat Therapy

Finally, here are some cat photos for your nerves.

fritz the cat's face framed in the two windows on either side of his play tent. He is staring through them, straight at the camera
the void stares back
Fritz the cat mid-air, leaping from a windowsill. Huey the cat is seated on a box underneath the window and glowering at the camera
another day of Huey plotting Fritz’s demise
weekly update

A Week in the Life: April 10, 2022

Posted on by Lindsey

I’m a week into my new job and the good news is there are no red flags (so far?). Everyone seems pretty normal and I get the impression they’re going to let me do my thing and not harass me. So, I’m pleased about that. By Friday I realized I was un-tensing after what has essentially been a year of job searching. I really need this job to be decent because I hate looking for jobs so much and I am exhausted by the mere thought of looking for work. It’s nice to start to feel like I can settle down and reclaim some mental and emotional energy from this whole process.

Outside of work, the last couple months I’ve been doing something possibly inadvisable and gradually stopping my anxiety medicine. I have been taking the same dose for a long time and I wanted to see if I still need it because I feel like, in many ways, my life is less anxiety-inducing than it used to be except for -gestures broadly at everything-. So, definitely don’t try this at home without medical supervision, but I am actually feeling pretty good. There could be many factors involved here but I am feeling a little more vibrant lately. Then again, it could just be that winter is over and we’re going to need to re-up that prescription come November. We shall see.

Consuming

Here are some things I’ve recently read, watched, or bought.

Books and Other Words

hardcover book: A Marvelous Light by Freyja Marske. The jacket design as a floral wallpaper-like pattern and there are silhouttes of two men
A Marvellous Light

This week I read A Marvellous Light by Freya Marske. I knew I was going to love this book because it was about gay magic boys but I really loved this book and I immediately pre-ordered the sequel. It reminded me a bit of Witchmark by C. L. Polk, but I guess historical romance with closeted magic gays is becoming a sub-genre in its own right at this point (send more gay witch novels). I can see why this is a nice thematic pairing for authors because, as in both books, magicians have to hide their magic. It’s a tidy allegory for having to closet one’s queerness and having something different that not everyone can know about. It lets us explore being queer without the pressure of our real society.

TV and Music

Last night Kirk and I watched Star Trek: Nemesis, which was the last Trek movie on my list. I have now seen all the Star Trek! There should be at least a merit badge for this accomplishment. After watching Nemesis, I realized I really fucked up by not watching it before watching Star Trek: Picard because the plot of the whole first season grows out of this movie. Whoops. I’m caught up now.

At the strong recommendation of one of my dance teachers, I also watched Chicago. Somehow I had never seen this movie but knew almost all of the songs anyway (thanks, fellow high school theater kids and probably RuPaul’s Drag Race). I thought the dance numbers were lush. The story kind of made me think of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, except Roxy is daydreaming her way out of prison into cabaret numbers rather than Walter escaping his overbearing wife.

Making Things and Doing stuff

There are some things I’ve made and stuff I’ve done.

Languages

The organization that administers the Spanish test I’m taking clearly learned something from last November because this week I received an update with the dates and times. Yes, the test is on two separate days again, but this time I got six weeks’ worth of notification. How luxurious! I still think they should label the attachment with something like “test dates,” but the only hint of important information was the all caps message, “POR FAVOR, LEA ATENTAMENTE LA COMUNICACIÓN OFICIAL DE EXAMEN!!!!” (please read the official exam communications closely). I still sort of don’t feel ready to try this test again. I was arguably ready in November, but I’d been studying so hard for so long. I just haven’t wanted to get back into the effort. The test is in about six weeks so I know I need to get my shit together, but all I want to do is chill out.

Kitchen Witchery

Although I am still dedicated to making tasty food and trying new recipes, I haven’t been doing the most in the kitchen lately. I am becoming reacquainted with the idea that I don’t have to do everything all the time. It’s okay to eat pre-made foods. I like knowing I can make everything but I’ve been reminding myself that I don’t have to if I don’t feel like it. Tonight I made matar paneer (Indian peas and cheese in tomato sauce) for dinner but we had naan from the store because, although I can make naan, I hate standing at the stove and grilling a bunch of individual breads. Long story short: no food photos today.

Cat Therapy

Finally, here are some cat photos for your nerves. This is how Huey looks when she’s waiting for me to follow her—I ask “what do you want?” and she leads me to whatever thing she wants (usually water). Fritz has been availing himself of the joys of boxing the mirror (great).

Huey the cat sitting in the doorway of my office with her back to me. Her head is turned slightly as if to look over her shoulder
Huey waiting for work to end
Fritz the cat standing on his hind legs and boxing his reflection in the mirror
Fritz facing his own worst enemy
weekly update

A Week in the Life: April 3, 2022

Posted on by Lindsey

The main thing on my mind this week is, of course, work. Thursday was my last day at the old job and Monday will be the first day of the new job. The new job sent me a computer days before my start date, which might not sound that exciting but I’ve had some jobs where it took a whole week to get any equipment, so I think this is a good start.

Books and Other Words

book cover for A Passage of Stars shown on kobo ereader
A Passage of Stars

I recently finished A Passage of Stars by Kate Elliott. It was good but I didn’t like is as much as some of her other books. Still, I’ve started the next book in the series so I clearly liked it enough. I thought the world and characters were interesting but the plot went in an unexpected direction. Girl leaves home and ends up being a revolutionary: a tale as old as time?

Meanwhile, on the internet:

Rampant Consumerism

Last Sunday, I cleared out my closet of everything that doesn’t fit or that I don’t like to wear and now I feel like I have no clothes. The fact is I still have the same amount of clothes that I can wear but it feels shitty getting rid of a bunch of clothes that I spent money on and got minimal use from. I am caught in a loop where I realize I have nothing to wear for whatever it is I’m doing, buy clothes in a panic, then the clothes only kind of fit (if at all) or I don’t like the style and now I’m stuck with a closet full of stuff I don’t want because it’s so hard to find plus-size clothes, let alone clothes that align with my sense of style and comfort. I’ve decided to slowly buy nice clothes I really like, that fit well, and, ideally, are from more sustainable companies. This probably sounds really basic if you’re a thin person but it’s a big deal for me.

Cat Therapy

It’s a short post today, but here are some cat photos for your nerves.

Huey the cat sitting under a box that is upsidedown on the floor and parially propped up so the cats can go in and out
box hideout
Fritz the cat positioned in a corner and leaning against a mirror to catch some sun. You can see his shadow in front of him (because the light is reflecting off the mirror) and behind him
Fritz getting sun, dramatically
weekly update

A Week in the Life: March 27, 2022

Posted on by Lindsey

This week the big news is I accepted an offer for a new job! It feels like I just did this because I’ve only been in my current job for five months. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind of a week because I interviewed on Tuesday, on Wednesday they asked me to formally submit an application (since I had only interviewed based on the recruiter finding me) and they sent me information about the benefits they offer, then they sent me the official offer on Thursday.

The new gig is pretty similar to the current one and it’s another contract for a government healthcare program, which is good. I want to do a job that is actually accomplishing something worthwhile for society, even if just a little. The position is a senior technical writer and I’m getting a solid pay increase so I’m feeling good. Plus, I get to get away from my manager who definitely does not know what he’s doing and doesn’t seem to understand that you have to ask more than yes or no questions if you want to understand your employees. He told me he was surprised to hear I was leaving. Well, yeah, that’s what happens if you never talk to someone for more than five minutes at a time.

The new company asked me to start on April 4, which, you may note, is quite soon. I put in my resignation on Thursday afternoon and gave them one week’s notice. At-will employment works both ways!

Consuming

Here are some things I’ve recently read, watched, or bought.

Books and Other Words

I read half of a book this week. That’s not much but it’s better than what I’ve been doing so I’ll take it.

Meanwhile, on the internet:

Rampant Consumerism

the cords that support the hammock, chewed up and ruined by squirrels
hammock carnage

I was forced to buy a new hammock thanks to the destructive behavior of the squirrels that frequent our backyard. Over the winter, they took to gnawing my hammock and scavenging its fibers. This, unfortunately, made the hammock useless to me and I had to buy a new one. I’ve sprayed this one with a squirrel repellent (apparently they hate peppermint. Unfortunately, so do I). It’s working so far but if these damn squirrels rob me of one of my few joys I will go on a rampage.

Making Things and Doing stuff

There are some things I’ve made and stuff I’ve done.

Moving It

my garage with a cleared area covered in a small amount of rubber gym flooring. There is a weightlifting bar a nd a rack with a small set of weights
garage gym phase 1

We finally have a little garage gym set up! We’ve been gradually cleaning and making space for this. I finally bought some floor mats (and discovered I will need more of them) and we got it set up. I’ve been deliberately under-estimating what I think I can lift since I haven’t lifted anything for a while and to help me build up the habit of lifting again. We also don’t have that many plates so, frankly, I couldn’t go crazy even if I wanted to. But I’m happy about being able to lift weights again. The next phase is going to be to get a squat rack because right now, I can only squat the weight if I can also clean it, which will eventually be limiting.

Kitchen Witchery

I got in a couple of new recipes this week, which I always enjoy. For dinner tonight I made Alba’s tagliatelle with ragu from the Pasta Grannies cookbook. I’ve discovered that pasta isn’t that hard to make but still it seems like a minor miracle when it works out. I also tried a yeasted cake recipe from the Nordic Baking Book. It’s called brunviger. Before baking, the instructions call for dimpling the cake like you would a foccacia then topping it with a cinnamon and brown-sugar mixture. It’s delicious. It’s something about halfway between a coffee cake and cinnamon rolls.

a plate of homemade noodles topped with ragu, brussels sprouts, and garlic bread
Tagliatelle with ragu
a glass dish containing a cake with a piece cut away to reveal the inside. The top of the cake is dimpled like a foccacia and covered with a cinnamon-sugar mixture
brunsviger cake

Cat Therapy

This week Fritz turned one! He’s been alive for a whole year and is technically not a baby anymore (he’s still totally a baby though).

Finally, here are some cat photos for your nerves.

Huey the cat lounging on the hardwood floor
Huey doing Huey stuff
Fritz the cat lounging in bed, casually sticking his tongue partway out
major blep alert
Fritz the cat, lounging in bed, looking smug and surrounded by toy mice
boy king
Uncategorized

A Week in the Life: March 20, 2022

Posted on by Lindsey

I’ve been feeling like I’m in a rut lately with pandemic/pretending-there’s-no-pandemic life chugging along as it does. I’m existentially fatigued from work and the pressure of knowing I just have to keep showing up to work for another 30 years (which, seriously ??????). Work continues to be extremely stupid (we are keeping the details light here on the blog just in case) but I do have some promising leads on new jobs and I hope I get one and I hope it’s not stupid so I can stop feeling so much angst about it.

This weekend has actually been really great for getting out of the rut. Friday night we went out to the bay area to meet my one remaining friend from the short, fraught period of my life when I was a student at Brigham Young University. We got some Korean barbecue then went out to a fire poi/other fire objects hangout in a park because my friend Kael is big into it. I was lightly into it many years ago so, yes, I did spin a little fire poi and no I don’t have any photos at this time. Doing a big, hippie park hangout is not my scene these days but it was still good to go out and do something different and watch people play with fire. This was also a super rare weekend in which I went out two nights in a row. Last night I went to the Sacramento Ballet and that was cool too. I don’t want to do this much every weekend, but it’s nice to have a break in the monotony and see some friends. It will also make me appreciate being inside for a little while.

Consuming

Here are some things I’ve recently read, watched, or bought.

Books and Other Words

cover of the book Deep Space Nine: Hollow Men shown on kobo ereader. Fritz the cat is lounging next to the book.
Deep Space Nine: Hollow Men

I can’t believe I went a whole month without getting through a book, but I finally finished something this week. I read my first Star Trek novel: Deep Space Nine: Hollow Men by Una McCormack. I don’t remember how I got there, but I started following a Star Trek-themed account on instagram and that account started a book club. I didn’t join the club but I read the book they chose on my own. I thought it was good but it took me a little while to get into the story. A lot of the fun of reading is imagining the world and the characters but, in this case, I can perfectly picture the characters and exactly how they would say things because I’ve watched Deep Space Nine. So, it was cool but it was also not as exciting as reading something unknown.

TV and Music

It’s been big Star Trek energy here since we’ve also been watching both the new Trek shows: Discovery and Picard. I have no smart thoughts about them other than they are good and it’s nice to have new Star Trek. We are also looking forward to Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, which is coming out sometime this year and is a prequel to the original series.

found on @spockxkirk on instagram

Rampant Consumerism

To mark that first, horrible Monday after daylight saving time starts when we all have to get up an hour early for work, my friends held a little eat-cake-and-chat session on zoom. It was great and we were forced to wonder why we hadn’t been doing this all along. I had been wanting to try a cake from Milk Bar and this seemed like the right occasion to do it. It was a tasty, respectable cake, but not the greatest ever. It’s very sweet, which is not a problem for me, but there was no counterpoint to the mega-sweetness. Maybe I should start a youtube channel to review cakes.

Making Things and Doing stuff

Last night we went to the Sacramento ballet. This is the second show that we get with the season tickets we bought. It’s also only the second ballet I’ve seen; the first was the Nutcracker. This was a modern performance and very different from the high-drama of the Nutcracker. It is much harder to know what the “story” is for an unfamiliar piece, especially in comparison to something that has absolutely pervaded pop culture. However, I did really enjoy it. It’s cool to see what ballet can really look like, beyond the small stuff we do in my class. It was also delightful to go somewhere with people and get some novel stimulation.

a program and ticket for the Chrysalis show at the Sacramento Ballet in the foreground with a blue curtain closed over the stage in the background
doing some culture
three women in a theater, masked and looking at the camera
ballet with the homies

Languages

My Spanish test is two months away and my brain is already producing stress dreams about it (thanks!). A few nights ago I dreamed that I didn’t realize the test was that day and then I couldn’t find the piece of paper or email I needed to get in. Obviously this is an anxiety dream based on real-life events. Since I’ve been feeling a little more alive this week, I have been getting into a new textbook to help me focus and feel ready for the test. Ironically, I feel less ready than I did back in November. I’m sure this is just anxiety but I don’t feel like I’ve been studying enough. Although I always feel like I’m not studying enough so I’m probably wrong.

Moving It

My roller derby team is planning to have practices again and I am now confronted with whether I actually want to keep playing in the near future or at all. I’m feeling conflicted about it because it turns out I like team sport (surprise), it’s good exercise, and I’ve made a lot of friends there. However, the pandemic is still very much a thing, I’m enjoying my new hobby (dance!), derby is very hard on the body, and I’ve learned that it’s difficult for me to be involved in roller derby without trying to do too much. I’ve decided that I’m definitely not going to start up again until after I take my Spanish test in May, since I’m already stressed enough. Part of the difficulty of this decision is that derby did really become part of my identity and it feels cool to be a roller derby person. If I’m honest with myself, I don’t think I want to keep playing (though I at least want to keep announcing at games). I haven’t played for two years after all thanks to the pandemic, but it’s a whole process of working through those feelings. And feelings are so dumb.

Kitchen Witchery

I am still taking it somewhat easy in the kitchen lately but I have to share these perfect rolls. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

a square pan of fresh-baked rolls that are all baked together like miniature loaves
perfect rolls

Cat Therapy

We took Fritz to the vet this week—don’t worry, he’s fine. He was having (gross stuff warning!) some blood in his poop but, of course, the problem resolved itself by the time we went to the vet. The good news is we’re now certain he’s free of parasites and the vet said he’s very healthy. We also learned that he now weighs over 10 pounds! Fritz did really well riding in the car and Kirk decided we should go through the Taco Bell drive through just to see how Fritz behaved (Fritz didn’t order anything and didn’t do anything nuts like try to leap through the drive-through window). Will Fritz go on more car rides? We shall see.

Finally, here are some cat photos for your nerves.

Fritz the cat lounging under the arc of a wavy scratchy thing. He is surrounded by toys.
bridge cat
Fritz the cat, stretched out with his belly up to catch the morning sun
to be a cat in the sun
Fritz and Huey the cats chilling on an unfolded futon that's piled with pillows and blankets
guest bed turned cat bed
weekly update

A Month in the Life: March 13, 2022

Posted on by Lindsey

The last month passed in something of a fugue state. I didn’t want to do anything or look at anything and that included writing on this blog. A few things were getting me down. Vision therapy has become more difficult. My therapist said we’re reaching the part of therapy in which we have to get my eyes to start working together. You may recall that eyes not cooperating is the entire crux of the problem so this has all been very tiring. I’ve been very gradually learning to cross my eyes which is, surprisingly, an essential skill. I’ve also been dealing with more TMJ pain lately. I realized that the headset I use for meetings was pressing directly on the TMJ and causing me extra pain—not to mention the existential pain of being in meetings. To top things off, we’re now observing the pandemic’s second anniversary and World War III is ramping up.

me wearing a compress that fits around the jaw, posing with my finger resting on my cheek as if I'm a model
TMJ pain but make it fashion

Despite these woes, I am here today. The last week, I’ve come back into myself. Perhaps because the days are lengthening? Because I bought new in-ear headphones that don’t aggravate my TMJ pain? Because my boss’s boss acknowledged that my boss, let’s say, leaves some things to be desired? It’s probably a little of everything but I am glad to have a little more energy and be back to writing my blog and doing my usual stuff.

Consuming

Here are some things I’ve recently read, watched, or bought.

Books and Other Words

Given the aforementioned vision stress, I’ve barely been reading. Between work and therapy activities, I don’t have a lot of visual energy remaining for books. This sucks because I, clearly, love to read. In any case, the last book I read was You Sexy Thing by Cat Rambo. It’s a fun science-fiction tale in an emerging genre that I am thinking of as “cozy sci-fi.” The story follows a group of varies alien species gathered into a found family. They take in a stray, they go on an adventure. It’s a very enjoyable read that I couldn’t help but compare to The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet. This isn’t a bad thing. I could read 100 novels like this and probably not get tired of it. I think these cozy stories are filling in something we don’t have a lot of right now. Life feels so chaotic and unstable. It’s nice to read a story where the characters are open and accepting and just want to do their thing. Part of the draw, too, is imagining a future in which humanity has survived whatever the hell is happening at present and gone on to join the rest of civilization in the stars. It’s a little optimism, as a treat.

I was looking at what links I’d saved for my “meanwhile on the internet” section and realized I saved almost nothing. Instead of reading the internet lately, I’ve been playing Guild Wars 2 with Kirk. The game recently published an expansion so we’ve been playing more. However, Kirk plays more than I do so he already has some of the fun new stuff in the game like a boat and a turtle-tank. He escorts me around the map, which is, frankly, the level of respect I deserve.

a screenshot from the video game Guild Wars 2. There are two characters i na boat. On is a tall woman sitting with her legs crossed.
GW2 boat service

TV and Music

I’m still having fun exploring new (to me) music and I bought a few albums recently including Neyslutrans by Hatari. This band was Iceland’s representative at Eurovision a few years ago, although they are not the usual Eurovision sound. Actually they’re not even my usual sound but I like them even if they are kind of shout-y. The music is good and it’s in Icelandic. In a completely different genre, I bought an album from a band called Tomato Flower. It’s a very short, pleasant set of songs that I’m enjoying.

Rampant Consumerism

I have long resisted in-ear headphones, but I realized I had to get over it because my eyes were watering when I was in meetings from over-ear headphone pain. And meetings are bad enough already. I bought these Sennheiser earbuds, which I actually like. In-ear headphone technology has advanced significantly since I last tried putting headphones in my ears.

Making Things and Doing stuff

There are some things I’ve made and stuff I’ve done.

Moving It

The worst news of the year so far is that the spring dance recital is going to be in an actual theater and it’s on the same Saturday that I’ll be in Seattle trying to take the C1 DELE test (my Spanish exam) again. I am really sad that I’ll miss the recital and I’m mad that this could have been avoided if my previous attempt at taking the test hadn’t gotten fucked up. The good news is that 95 percent of a dance recital is practicing in class, so in a way I’m not missing much. I’m still sad though.

Kitchen Witchery

I haven’t been getting too crazy in the kitchen lately. I’ve been getting better at keeping track of what meals were good and relatively easy so I can add them to my rotation (thanks to the power of spreadsheets). That said, I’ll never stop trying new things. I made scones (the recipe from The Bread Bible) for the first time and that was fun. There’s a lot of folding involved, but that wasn’t so bad. I made an almond and poppy seed scone because I rejected the recipe’s recommendation of currants (gross) and lemon poppy seed (fine but almond sounded better). I tried out another recipe from Feast of the Islamic World with ful medames, which is basically a fava bean dip. It was good but I think it would be better with feta cheese. I’m also considering frying the leftovers into felafel-like balls and eating them that way because there’s only so much bean I want to dip. Finally, I’ve developed a great appreciation for cookies made with seasonal M&M colors. I don’t know why they taste better but they do so here I am.

poppy seed scones resting in a kitchen towel
poppy seed scones
cookies with chocolate chunks and pastel-colored M&Ms
seasonal M&M cookies
a slightly blurry photo of a bowl of bean dip topped with tomatoes, green onion, and parsley next to a stack of pita bread
ful medames and pita

Cat Therapy

Finally, here are some cat photos for your nerves.

Fritz the cat arranged on the corner edge of the bathtub. He has one paw raised defensively to bop the water
Fritz suspicious of water
Huey the cat standing in the shower glaring at the camera
Huey mad about the lack of shower water
Huet the cat, chilling in the hallway to capture sun coming through the window in the morning
Huey the sun-chaser
Fritz the cat, stretched extra long. His back feet are on my desk and his front feet are on the shelf above it. He's inspecting a cobweb in the corner
löng boy
weekly update

A Week in the Life: February 13, 2022

Posted on by Lindsey

I was very close to not writing this today because this was another week that passed in a bit of a haze. However, that’s probably all the more reason to write, to differentiate the days and the weeks. I’m still annoyed at work and a little annoyed at my body (vision therapy is vexing me with lots of 3D activities and I’m struggling). Yet, the week wasn’t a total loss.

Consuming

Here are some things I’ve recently read, watched, or bought.

Books and Other Words

This week I read She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan and Mother of Invention: How Good Ideas Get Ignored in an Economy Built for Men by Katerine Marçal. They were both good! She Who Became the Sun is a light-fantasy, historical fiction about a girl in 14th century China. She is disgusted with her supposed fate (“nothing”) and seizes the opportunity to be more. There’s intrigue, army stuff, and lesbians. Mother of Invention is a non-fiction book that was better than I expected. It starts with the history of the wheeled suitcase and describes the resistance to it—rolling one’s suitcase was unmanly, obviously. I thought the rest of the book would be fun/annoying tales of useful things men resisted, but the book is wide-ranging and thoughtful, taking the reader all the way from the wheeled suitcase to climate change, with stops on disability and witchcraft in between. The only thing I didn’t love about the book is an aspect of the writing style, which probably comes from a journalism perspective, in which the author includes pithy, one-sentences paragraphs every couple pages to drive home a point. I think it’s effective in a shorter work but I found it tiring in this case.

book: She Who Became the Sun. cover is a yellow-oange with the silhouettes of soldiers on horses along the bottom
She Who Became the Sun
book: Mother of Invention: How Good Ideas Get Ignored in an Economy Built for Men. The cover is blue and minimalist, featuring a mid-century style suitcase
Mother of Invention

Meanwhile, on the internet:

TV and Music

Last week I wrote about ending my Spotify subscription. This week, I had a lot of fun actually discovering and listening to music. For the first time in a while, I feel connected to what I like to listen to. I didn’t realize I had completely given up in the face of Spotify’s algorithm. I started using bandcamp this week to find cool music. I really like the way they set up their app. In the evening, Fritz always wants me to throw toys for him so I’ve taken to listening to new stuff while I entertain him every day. I enjoyed and purchased the album Laurel Hell by Mitski, who is a new-to-me artist. The other album I bought this week was No Es Pecado by Alaska y Dinarama. I heard about this band by watching Drag Race España. While on original-flavor Drag Race, RuPaul ends every show by saying “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else. Can I get an ‘amen’?,” the Drag Race España host quotes an Alska y Dinarama song and says, “Soy así y así seguiré. Nunca cambiaré!” (“This is how I am, this is how I’ll stay. I’ll never change!” In short, being gay is not a phase, mom). Once I realized it was from a song, I tracked it down and loved it. It’s got a new wave sound and it’s in Spanish, so I’m down.

Making Things and Doing stuff

There are some things I’ve made and stuff I’ve done.

Languages

Yesterday I asked my Icelandic teacher if we could work on some more conversation practice in anticipation of my trip to Iceland. He said yes, but I have to prepare for it. I need a topic ready and I should figure out some key words in advance. I’m starting to appreciate into this type of learning. I’ve been doing something similar with my Spanish class where I sometimes write about or prepare a short presentation on whatever random subject has recently moved me. It’s definitely a different approach than what we get in school but it’s a lot more fun. I’m excited to try to think of some good topics of Icelandic conversation for my intermediate level. If you have a suggestion, let me know!

Kitchen Witchery

a plate of pasta coated in butternut squash puree and topped with an almond and apricot mix. There's also garlic bread.
butternut squash pasta with almond and apricot topping

Last week I said I would make the butternut squash pasta from the Grist cookbook and I did. I liked pasta with butternut squash, but I wasn’t loving the topping. I thought it was good with the paprika oil I had leftover from another Grist recipe. Considering how great everything else I’ve made has turned out, I’m not even mad at this one.

Cat Therapy

Finally, here are some cat photos for your nerves. Some of you ask me “where are the Huey pictures?” and I have to tell you that there aren’t a lot of great Huey photos because she’s always doing un-glamorous shit like lapping up leftover shower water or spending her time sleeping. Sleeping is cute, you might say. It is, but she’s a mostly black cat who mostly sleeps on top of a black pillow. There’s nothing wrong with any of this, but it doesn’t work well for a visual medium. So this is the photo you get of Huey today.

me holding Fritz the cat. Fritz is wide-eyed and looking directly at teh camera.
ready for work with Fritz
Fritz the cat, nestled under a blanket, resting his face on my ankle and looking like a model
Fritz being a glamor-puss
Huey the cat inside the shower, head bent to lap up leftover water from the shower
Huey drinking shower water

weekly update

A Week in the Life: February 6, 2022

Posted on by Lindsey

Last week was one that passed in a blur. I don’t really know where the time went, but it is now gone. I was forced to spend part of the week being annoyed about work (above the normal annoyance of simply working). My new boss this week effectively announced to the group that he intends to micromanage us so that’s … fun. He also told me he doesn’t know what I do so he wants to be in whatever training I do for our new editor. I’m having PTSD flashbacks to my last job. I feel like I can’t catch a break.

Consuming

Here are some things I’ve recently read, watched, or bought.

Books and Other Words

I’m in the middle of several books (books that need to go back to the library soon), but I didn’t finish any this week. So please enjoy some internet readings instead.

Meanwhile, on the internet:

TV and Music

This week, like a number of people I expect, I stopped paying for Spotify premium. I’d been somewhat aware that artists are not well compensated for the music people listen to on Spotify but the controversy with Joe Rogan this week really shed some light on that subject. The people who make music are getting paid between $0.0033 and $0.0054 for each song that people play. Spotify is pocketing a lot of the difference and doing things like paying noted racist and covid misinformation monger Joe Rogan hundreds of thousands of dollars. I’m not thrilled with my money helping to fund that.

I’d been thinking for a little while about how I can actually listen to music and not just let Spotify take me on a passive journey. I was recently lamenting to a friend that I used to know everything in my library and now I have no idea what I’ve listened to. So, after I cancelled Spotify, I put all my mp3s on my phone so I can actually listen to them (I forgot I had a huge SD card in there. Whoops). I downloaded VLC for Android to play my music. I decided that, instead of giving Spotify my money, I’m going to buy a few albums per month from an actual music store. I bought a few this week from 7digital to fill in some music I know I was listening to often on Spotify but didn’t have in my own library. To listen to my podcasts, I downloaded the BeyondPod app, which I am liking so far.

What’s hard about divesting from Spotify—or quitting facebook—for example, is that it’s a lot of effort. It definitely takes more work to think about what music I want to buy, go buy it, transfer it to my phone, find a new app to play it on. It’s more work to reach out to individual friends and cultivate relationships outside of facebook than to just click “like” on friends’ posts. These apps offer us convenience but are not actually making our lives better. I know I’m not even close to the first to make that observation, but I’m feeling it acutely as I try to find ways to relate to the world—art, friends—in a more thoughtful way. Part of the issue is certainly that modern life already takes a lot of time and energy. It’s hard to work 40+ hours a week in a job that makes you feel shitty. Then you have to do your laundry and buy groceries, do your stupid little tasks for your stupid mental health. So yes, it does seem great to outsource some labor to social media. I don’t have an answer. I can only say that I’m in there too.

Making Things and Doing stuff

There are some things I’ve made and stuff I’ve done.

Knitting and Crafts

nearly finished back panel of a sweater. The yarn is grey and features a cabled design with alternating columns of cable styles all the way up the sweater.
sweater in progress: back

I thought I would share some knitting progress after being in a bit of a slump. This sweater is a lot of fun to knit and it’s shaping up great. It’s knitted in pieces and this is the back. It’s almost finished! The magic of knitting with bulky weight yarn!

Kitchen Witchery

I’m still all about the Grist cookbook; I made two recipes from it this week. First, I tried the butternut squash risotto, topped with paprika oil and arugula. Normally, I’m not a big fan of throwing a big pile of leaves on top of a warm food, but I actually liked it a lot. I served it with these baked chicken thighs with butter and onions to round out the meal. Next I made the smashed garlic chickpeas, following the variation that called for a Moroccan-ish almond and apricot topping and served with roasted carrots and broccoli. I also made some couscous since we had it on hand and it fit the theme. Because this is a Grist fan account now, I’ll add that I’m planning to make a recipe from it tonight. It’s a butternut squash pasta which will use up my leftover squash and leftover almond-apricot topping. This is what passes for excitement for me.

butternut squash risotto topped with paprika oil and arugula, and a baked chicken thigh
a plate layered with cous cous, smashed chickpeas, an almond/dried apricot topping, roasted carrots and broccoli
smashed garlic chickpeas from Grist

I’ve been baking a lot this week too, starting with the orange poppy seed Snacking Cake. We have an orange tree in the yard and, although I’m not a great fan of oranges, I’ve been trying to find uses for them. I was surprised that I liked this cake a lot since I’m not a big fruit person. I made two recipes from 100 Cookies, which is also becoming a favorite cookbook. I tried the cinnamon bun blondies, which conveniently helped me use up the rest of my cream cheese and all the leftover egg yolks from when I made the meringue-topped carrot cake bars. I also made these very festive neopolitan cookies, which were not as hard as I thought they might be. It’s sugar cookie dough divided into three pieces. One part is mixed with chocolate, one with pulverized freeze-dried strawberries with another, and third is plain. You take a bit of each and roll it together for each cookie. It takes a little time but it was fun.

a rectangular slice of cake on a small plate. The cake is orange poppy seed cake with raspberry glaze.
orange poppy seed cake with raspberry glaze
a blondie (straight from the pan and not yet sliced). IT's light brown with swirls of cinnamon sugar and of cream cheese icing.
cinnamon bun blondies
a small plate of cookies. The cookies are marbled, consisting of chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla doughs rolled together. Each cookie is unique.
neopolitan cookies

Cat Therapy

Finally, here is a cat photo for your nerves. I don’t make him sit this way, he does it to himself.

Fritz the cat sitting on me. He is leaning against my chest with his paws on my hand for balance. He has flipped his head down so it's tucked into my arm.
normal cat cuddling