Digital Manticore

Two Weeks in the Life: March 2, 2024

Posted on March 2, 2024 by Lindsey

Hello, friends and enemies. First things first, California’s election is this week. Don’t forget to vote. I’ve got voter guides for you if you don’t know where to start. Please share them with your friends and family if you find them useful!

I have again been busy the last couple of weeks! I went to visit Lito in New Jersey! I read a bunch of books! I went to the Sacramento Ballet’s performance of Cinderella with Abby (it was fun and pretty and I forgot to write about below and frankly I do not have the will to add more)! I have been cruelly forced to re-do all my flashcards! Read on!

a ticket for Cinderella held up in front of the closed stage curtain — Cinderella at the Sac Ballet

Books and Other Words

A Secret History of Witches by Louisa Morgan chronicles five generations of witches coming into their power and figuring out how best to survive in a patriarchal society. The book opens with a clan of Romani in Brittany, France, fleeing mob violence, unable to conceal themselves after their matriarch, a powerful witch named Ursule, dies. The family settles in Cornwall to become farmers and the women of the family have to start practicing their rites in secret. The book spans some two hundred years, starting with the perspective of Nanette, who was just four years old when the family had to leave France, to Veronica, who lends her witchy power to the British crown during World War II. The story is really focused on the relationships between mothers and daughters and how mothers instruct their girl children in surviving in the world. Morgan is explicit on the point that women, at least in these eras, could claim power only so long as they let the men in their lives believe themselves in charge. In that way, it’s a witch story like all witch stories, using witchcraft as the medium for exploring women’s power. All that said, I thought this book was just okay. I liked the last book I read by Morgan, The Age of Witches (I wrote some brief thoughts about it in this post), better, but this was still a respectable and interesting entry into her universe.

Rachel Swirsky’s January Fifteenth is a near-future story in which the United States disburses a universal basic income (UBI) annually on—you guessed it—January fifteenth. Swirsky depicts four women from different walks of life (a reporter, a rich college student, a pregnant FLDS teen, and a mother trying to stay a step ahead of her abusive ex-wife) on UBI disbursement day. The novel is a thought experiment into how UBI could make our lives better, but also shows that UBI would not solve all our problems. You can afford to leave your abusive ex, for example, but they might still come after you. I think this is a good entry into something science fiction is uniquely able to do for us, which is visualize ways society could improve. Swirsky is clear that UBI wouldn’t be a panacea. Political forces would still be trying to deprive vulnerable people of monetary support, wealth would still be distributed unevenly and leave the poorest behind. However, she offers a vision of a future where we at least do something, rather than being an incredibly rich country that lets children go hungry and leaves people unable to afford healthcare.

In works that will depress and radicalize you, I read The Palestine Laboratory: How Israel Exports the Technology of Occupation Around the World by Antony Loewenstein. The thesis of the book is that Israel benefits financially from oppressing Palestinians. The state itself and its many defense and cyber security companies deploy their products on captive Palestinians to “battle test” them before selling them to other countries. Arms and surveillance are major industries for Israel, which made $11.3 billion in U.S. dollars in 2021 and some ten percent of Israelis are working in the field. Making so much money from these defense exports shields Israel, to an extent, from criticism. Many regimes buy from Israel both for the products themselves and because they “believe that a partnership with Israel will bring closer ties with Washington and the influential American Jewish community.” The relationship between the U.S. and Israel is symbiotic—Israel is the biggest recipient of aid from the U.S., the idiotic project to build a border wall between the U.S. and Mexico takes some inspiration from the wall that Israel built on its border with Egypt in 2013, and Israel adopts terms and ideas from white supremacists in the U.S. Loewenstein also goes into a lot of detail about some of Israel’s key cyber security companies benefiting from the occupation of Palestine and discusses some of Israel’s notorious best friends (like apartheid South Africa, which Israel supported until the bitter end). Reading this has me, once again, sickened by the amount of support my own country is putting in to prop up Israel’s genocide against the Palestinian people. As usual, the most vile acts on this earth are being carried out in search of greater profits. Israel is making money from Palestinian oppression and the U.S. continues sending extreme amounts of cash to maintain a testing ground for terror.

book cover for A Secret History of Witches shown on kobo ereader — A Secret History of Witches

book cover for January Fifteenth, shown on kobo ereader — A Secret History of Witches

Meanwhile, on the internet:

‘Massacre’: Dozens killed by Israeli fire in Gaza while collecting food aid via AlJazeera. This is so, so bleak but it feels important to bear witness even in my own small way. People in Gaza are starving. Israeli soldiers shot at Palestinians while they were gathering to get flour from an aid truck. The cruelty.
Alabama Supreme Court rules frozen embryos are children, imperiling IVF via the Washington Post (gift link). What a fucking shit show! Embryos are not children. They are clumps of cells. I am sure I’ve said this before, but I fucking dare law makers to take this concept to its logical conclusion: child support starts at the moment of conception. Pregnant women can drive in the carpool lane (two people in the car!). They won’t of course offer any potential benefits for this (laugh/cry) because the motivation for these types of decisions is always controlling women and limiting our autonomy. It’s trash and I hate it.
The Memex method via Pluralistic. I really enjoyed this (slightly older) piece from Cory Doctorow’s blog about how he organizes information to write about it. I don’t write anywhere near as much as he does (he posts almost every day!) but I think the concept is still really interesting. Doctorow talks about how his blog is basically a big notebook, but the process of refining his ideas enough to share them publicly forces him to make better notes and makes it possible to make more connections between the stories he’s tracking. I feel like I do this to a certain extent. Writing the blog gets me to develop an idea in a way that dashing off a thought on social media does not. It insists that I hone my ideas more so I can share them. Since I’ve been writing regularly, especially writing about the books I read, has made it a lot easier to see the big picture and connect all the things I read and consider.
New St. Paul Public Library cards feature beloved ‘laser loon’ state flag design via MPR News. I simply must share the most banging library card design of all time: the laser loon. I wish Sacramento would do something silly like this with our library cards.

Doing Stuff

Last week I traveled to New Jersey to visit my beloved friend Lito. We spent part of the week working (thank you, remote work) and the other part of the week taking in the New Jersey of it all. Plus we spent a day in New York City, which was very cool! I had never been before! It was really wonderful to hang out and watch and comment on our favorite media and roam around and exist. I am longing for the day when all my best friends and I can buy neighboring houses so we can hang out and make each other dinner every night.

In New Jersey, we looked at lots of little shops, strolled the boardwalk on a chilly day, went to the local gay bar for Golden Girls trivia, and saw the new Bianca del Rio show. Of course I also had to try some east coast pizza.

Asbury Park boardwalk on a clear day, scrubby plants and the beach and ocean to one side, decrepit buildings to the other — The boardwalk at Asbury Park

Knit and crochet squares and shapes zip tied to a chain-link fence with the ocean in the background. The yarn is roughly arranged by rainbow colors — The boardwalk at Asbury Park

We spent one day only in NYC, which is probably as much as I’m willing to do at one time because it is a very over-stimulating place and I think I’m too autistic for all that. However, we managed to hit the highlights! We went to the Met and saw a cool exhibit on women’s fashion called Women Dressing Women. We looked at all kinds of arts and I bought a beguiling, bright-blue hippo stuffed animal (we are calling her Wilma). We went to Central Park briefly and then headed towards Times Square for our dinner reservation and a show. We had spent a while trying to pick the perfect show but decided on Spamalot for some comic relief. It was actually much funnier than we expected. It was a genius blend of original Monty Python comedy along with more modern material. We cackled the whole time. I do sort of wish I could stay for a week and see a show every night but unfortunately we are not made of money and we have jobs to attend to. Still, it was very cool to see a Broadway show and see what the big deal is about New York.

Me striking a ballet-style pose on the stairs in front of the Met Museum — posing in front of the Met

Entrance to the Women Dressing Women Exhibit at the Met featuring two mannequins wearing gowns — posing in front of the Met

Languages

I am so mad at Memrise for changing its platform! I’ve been using the site and app for about eight years to study my flashcards. However, Memrise is completely redesigning its platform and more or less getting rid of flashcards! I’m fucking annoyed about it because I’ve created thousands of flashcards in their app over the years. It’s one of the main ways I study my languages. I realized while I was traveling last week that I could no longer use the offline mode to review my cards, which was very annoying because I wanted to do some flashcards while I was on the plane. I looked it up later only to realize I was a victim of the new design. Memrise stated that their app needs to be connected to the cloud to access all its features. This aggravated me enough to change platforms. I’m going back to Anki, which is an open-source program I used to use (and I am now very annoyed that I ever switched programs and created more work for myself). I used this script to gather up all my flashcards from Memrise and import them to Anki. Bless the people of the internet for doing this work. I was able to rescue my cards and import them to Anki, which is great, however I lost all the metadata. Everything is now a “new” word to review. I am now doing the profoundly irritating task of going through all my vocabs to tag them and re-learn them. Remind me never to switch to a subscription-based app again.

I’m currently deep in the flashcard mines and I kind of hate it but I have also decided to term this my “flashcard audit.” I’m getting something out in that I need to study my words anyway and I can definitely stand to clean up and organize all the tags, but I would still prefer not to do it. On the upside, I’ll also be saving $50 a year that I had been giving to Memrise for the premium subscription.

just me and my 11,400 flashcards against the world

I am seeing this as another piece of a trend in my internet usage and the way the internet is going generally. The current internet is so committed to everything being a cloud-based subscription service that we don’t own anything. Netflix owns the movies and Spotify owns the music and Amazon owns the books and Meta owns your connections to your friends and if any of them decides to revoke the rights to something, you are shit outta luck. Rehoming my flashcards to a platform I can control is spiritually the same as quitting Spotify and organizing my MP3 collection or moving my primary email account to my own domain. This is fundamentally an old-internet way of doing things, but I think more and more people will get fed up with this system in which we pay for everything and own nothing.

Corporeal Form

I am, once again, not having a good time. I am still having issues with my stomach (as discussed in the previous post). I also sprained my fucking ankle! I was so happy to be back at my dance classes this week after missing like three weeks between my liver biopsy, stomach troubles, and traveling. Then I fell and twisted my ankle like an idiot two days in. I’ve been tap dancing for three years without incident but of course now I sprain an ankle. Fortunately, it was not the same ankle I sprained just before the pandemic started, so at least I’m not repeatedly wailing on the same joint. It’s also not nearly as bad of a sprain as the last one and I’m hoping it will sort itself out in the next week. As for the stomach issues, I’m legitimately starting to wonder if I have some sort of fruit allergy. I’ve been trying to be a good citizen and eat my fruit smoothies per my dietician’s instructions, but every time I have one, I’m getting sick to my stomach. I thought it was yogurt, but I cut that and I’m still getting the ick. I also thought it might be the flax meal or omega-3 supplements, but I stopped those for a week and still had troubles. I tried a smoothie while out and about last week and immediately got sick and then I tried one in controlled circumstances when I was back home and got sick again. Something isn’t right! It’s supremely annoying to be trying to be “healthy” and responsible and then the technically healthy stuff is just making me sick. I am thinking about getting a referral to an allergist to see if we can pin down the problem but I’m so tired of discovering ailments and issues! Although I’m even more tired of inexplicable tummy aches so something has to change.

Kitchen Witchery

I haven’t cooked much in the last couple of weeks, which probably doesn’t come as a surprise. I did try one new recipe though. My dietician suggested trying to get some tofu into my diet about once a week. This isn’t a hard request since I had already been trying some tofu recipes here and there. On Friday, I made these crispy sheet-pan noodles with glazed tofu. I am picky about leafy vegetables, and I don’t like hot leaves, so I substituted broccoli for the bok choy. We liked it and it’s going into the regular rotation. It was very simple to make and it tasted pretty good. We had some dumplings (just the kind you buy in the freezer section, I’m not getting that crazy in the kitchen all the time) with it to make it a little more filling, and that worked out well.

a one-pan meal of yaki soba, glazed tofu, and broccoli — sheet pan noodles with tofu and broccoli

Cat Therapy

Finally, here are some cat photos for your nerves. It was lovely to see my beautiful niece and nephew, Magenta and Riff Raff, in New Jersey. Riff is a lover and loves to be held like a baby. Maggie never really got comfortable with me, but that’s okay. Boundaries. She appreciated playing with me and eating my food (I let her sniff a chunk of roasted potato and she fucking ATE IT) but did not really want anything to do with me otherwise.

Riff Raff the cat lying stretched out next to my legs in bed and yawning — Riff Raff with a big yawn

Magenta the cat staring right at the camera, looking like she could flee at any second. She has one white whisker but is otherwise all black. — Riff Raff with a big yawn

Of course my own cats were very glad when I came home. You will be glad to know that Huey is feeling better. She begrudgingly finished her medication and her UTI seems to be gone. She’s back to peeing in the litter box like a lady.

Huey the cat lying on me with her paw over my finger — home and holding hands with Huey

Fritz the cat in a desk chair, holding onto and chewing on a ribbon toy — home and holding hands with Huey

weekly update

Two Weeks in the Life: February 17, 2024

Posted on February 17, 2024 by Lindsey

Hello, friends and enemies. As usual, it seems like there’s a lot going on here. I would like to have less happening but alas, I am at least partially at the mercy of events beyond my control. I’ve been feeling a little sick this week (not covid, as far as I can tell), Huey hasn’t been feeling good either. We had to have someone come examine the foundation of our house because one of the floorboards in our kitchen is bowed and sticking up in a weird way. It turns out that our house, like apparently most of the houses in this neighborhood, is gradually sinking in to the Earth. It’s not quite bad enough yet that we have to act—the threshold for action is a one-inch differential between the highest and lowest points in the foundation and our worst spot is 0.8″—but it is now on the list of things we’ll need to plan for. Fortunately, it is not nearly as bad as it could be and the fix involves only reinforcing a corner of the foundation, not the whole thing, to the tune of $11,000.

As for my self-inflicted busyness, I published my voter guides this week! I wrote the English version then translated it into Spanish and got some editorial support from Ana, my teacher. Please share them with your friends and family if you find them useful! These do take a fair bit of effort but I am happy to do it because many of you have told me you appreciate them and refer to them when figuring out how you want to vote. I love that! Here are the links to this election’s guides:

Books and Other Words

Roxane Gay’s Opinions: A decade of arguments, criticism, and minding other people’s business is a collection of opinion pieces she has published in various outlets over the last decade. I always appreciate Gay’s writing because her ideas bring me depth and nuance. It was a little jarring to read all these short essays in a row though because every one feels like a stopping point, so it’s hard to keep reading. I was also reminded of so many horrors from the last decade (yay?), which was, let’s say, good and bad. So much has happened in that period. Maybe so much is always happening but it feels really hard to witness it all and Gay has borne witness and recorded her thoughts for us.

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty is a really fun historical fantasy adventure. I loved Chakraborty’s Daevabad Trilogy so of course I had to read her new book. Like her previous stories, Amina al-Sirafi is grounded in Arab folklore, which I really enjoy. This story features a bad-ass retired pirate who gets pulled back into the game and has to get the old crew back together. Highly recommended!

I picked up Cheese Sex Death: A Bible for the Cheese Obsessed by Erika Kubick from the library because I started following the author’s instagram where she posts short videos inviting us to “cheese church” to worship the body of Cheesus. The book treats cheese as a divine manifestation of Mother Earth. Learning about Her from Her prophets (cheese mongers and makers) and participating in the sacrament of consuming Her body is all part of a sacred ritual for Kubick. I actually learned a lot about cheese and where it comes from and its many varieties (excuse me, I mean Cheesus and Her many divine bodies). The book itself is beautiful and has illustrations in the style of stained glass. It is also clearly taking inspiration from Christianity, which is a little tired but for a good cause (Cheesus). I had to laugh because one of the blurbs on the cover says the book is “irreverent.” On the contrary, this is the most reverent book I’ve read in ages. It can be considered irreverent if you think reverence applies only to major religions. Kubick has an abundance of reverence for Cheesus and wants us to join her in worship.

book cover of Opinions by Roxane Gay shown on kobo ereader — Opinions by Roxane Gay

book cover for The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi shown on kobo ereader — Opinions by Roxane Gay

Meanwhile, on the internet:

Senate passes aid package for Ukraine and Israel, but its future is uncertain in the House via NBC News. I would love to know why the Senate is throwing another $14 billion dollars at Israel for “security assistance” while also authorizing $9 billion in humanitarian aid for Palestinians. I may not be a fancy senator, but it seems to me would could get a two-for-one on our spending by simply not giving Israel more money to terrorize Gaza, which will then necessitate more humanitarian aid? Make it make sense. Stop giving Israel money for genocide! The Department of Education says that student loan debt relief would cost around $30 billion a year for ten years. Let’s do that instead of throwing money at Israel.
California’s war on plastic bags seems to have backfired. Lawmakers are trying again via Los Angeles Times. About 10 years ago, Californians voted to get rid of single-use plastic bags, but an idiotic loophole lead to stores offering heavier-weight “recyclable” bags and charging us 10 cents apiece. A consumer advocacy group reported that by 2022, “tonnage of discarded plastic bags had skyrocketed to 231,072—a 47% jump.” This obviously sucks. It’s also so hard to avoid plastic bags if you order online and pickup from the store. I can’t give my reusable bag to Target before I pick up my order. I’m not sure what the solution is. Maybe back to the thin, cheap plastic? Paper bags? Tote bags you return to the store somehow? The Target employees just shoving a handful of loose objects into my car when I go for curbside pickup? The Governor signed a law last year to phase out single-use plastics, with at least 30% of plastic items sold being recyclable by 2028. It’s good that the new law will put the onus on manufacturers rather than consumers. I hope it helps because I’m getting really tired of all this plastic trash!
Against disruption: On the bulletpointization of books via Literary Hub. Maybe the experience of reading cannot be distilled into bullet points for business-maxxed corporate queens? Yes, we get information from books but part of what’s great about books is experiencing them and forming your own opinions. But what do I know, I’m not a CEO.
Government services should be delightful! via The White Pages. I think people wouldn’t complain so much about paying taxes if they actually went to things that clearly benefited people and the system didn’t seem designed to inflict the most misery possible. There’s no reason we couldn’t spend tax money on something like the Finnish baby box discussed in the article instead of, say, giving Israel the world’s biggest allowance (yes, I am mad and planning to stay mad about this). We deserve better.

TV and Music

Kirk and I have been having a lot of fun watching Game Changer on Dropout. It’s a game show that invites improv comedians to play, but what game they play changes almost every episode. I had seen some clips online and it looked hilarious so we are finally watching it. If you like shows like Whose Line Is It Anyway, you will enjoy Game Changer.

Doing Stuff

a paper plate carrying crackers, bread, and six small cups, each containing a different soup — soup tasting

For a couple of years before the pandemic, I had a cookbook club where a group of us would get together every couple months and cook different recipes from the same book. That particular group is no more, but we have made a new version with a slightly different approach. Last Saturday we had our SOUPer Bowl party and invited everyone to bring a soup to share. It was a lot of fun! We had a huge variety of soups, from pozole to clam chowder to pickle. I can’t wait for the next one, which will feature a different type of food. It was also really nice to socialize with people. I know, I’m not a big socializer, but something like this is a lot of fun for me. Plus I love to show off my cooking! I made potato-leek soup with spiced chickpeas and it seemed to be a hit.

Corporeal Form

I did finally get the lab results from my liver biopsy, however I still haven’t heard from my doctor about it all. I spent about an hour looking up every technical term in the report that Kaiser posted online to figure out what it means. The good news is my liver is not too fat. Of the sample they analyzed, 35 percent showed evidence of fatty liver. This isn’t great but it’s also not the worst. This barely puts me in the middle level of severity, which starts at 34 percent. The other good news is there is “mild regenerative change,” which means my liver seems like it’s healed itself, if just a little. I am not sure if I can credit that to working with my dietician, since I don’t think the liver can change that quickly, but I am hoping I can get this to a place where it’s at least not actively getting worse. The only thing to do now is keep making adjustments to make my liver healthy (or, according to my doctor, lose weight. lol).

Kitchen Witchery

I haven’t done a whole lot of cooking the last couple of weeks because my stomach hasn’t been feeling great. I don’t know if I ate something weird or have the flu or who knows what but I am straight-up not having a good time and I may or may not have thrown up while in the car at some point last week. I thought maybe the fruit smoothies were the problem, but I was still feeling the ick after not having smoothies for a few days. I did a couple of dinners of cheese and crackers and nuts because I know nothing about that is going to feel bad for me. I’ve also added these Harvest Snaps pea crisps into the mix because my dietitian recommended snacks like that to get a little more fiber into my diet. They’re surprisingly good! I’ve been looking for more ways to eat flax meal because although I like oatmeal I cannot commit to eating it every day. I tried out putting some flax in pancakes. I wasn’t shocked that this succeeded because you can put basically anything in pancake batter and pancakes are like “yeah, sure, go for it.” I also tried out this soft sandwich bread with flax. It is indeed very soft! She does not want to stand up and is very squishy. That is okay because it’s a pretty good bread. Then I made some muffins with flax. The recipe is for blueberry muffins but I think at this point you all know I don’t really do fruit. So I swapped in some chocolate chips and jammy bits plus a little bit of sliced almonds for good measure. They came out really good and Kirk seems to be a fan too.

A loaf of bread made with white flour and flax meal. The loaf is kind of smushed on one side because it's so soft and didn't want to stand up — flaxy sandwich bread

12 muffins fresh from the oven, still in the pan. They are studded with chocolate chips and jammy bits and topped with pearl sugar — flaxy sandwich bread

Cat Therapy

Finally, here are some cat photos for your nerves. Poor Queen Huey had to go to the vet this week. She’s been peeing on the floor a lot. Unfortunately, it took us a few days to realize she was the criminal in question because Fritz is a known pee pee vandal. It turned out she just has a UTI again and needed antibiotics. I’m relieved it’s not something more serious because it seemed for a few days that she had totally lost control of her bladder. She’s doing better now and hasn’t peed on the floor for the last few days (if we don’t count the times when she’s right next to the litter box and misses). Please keep her in your worshipful thoughts! They bring her strength!

Huey the cat looking like a 19th century robber baron on the couch. Fritz the cat is on the floor in the background, deciding whether to be a problem — Huey scowling, Fritz skulking

both cats, Fritz and Huey, lounging on a blanket-covered futon in front of the window — Huey scowling, Fritz skulking

voter guide

Guía para votantes: 5 de marzo 2024, elección primaria de California

Posted on February 15, 2024 by Lindsey

Hola amigos y enemigos. Ya es la temporada de elecciones de nuevo. En California, la elección primaria va a ser el 5 de marzo, pero debes recibir tu boleta en el correo a principios de febrero, si todavía no la has recibido. Recuerda que puedes votar por correo o en un centro de votación.

Looking for the English version? It’s right here.

Recordatorios y recursos para los votantes californianos

¡Todos los californianos van a recibir una boleta por correo en esta elección! No es necesario ir a un centro de votación.
Inscríbete para votar. El último día que te puedes inscribir es el lunes 20 de febrero. Aún puedes inscribirte después del 20 de febrero, pero necesitas seguir el proceso para el registro del votante en el mismo día (sitio es en inglés).
Comprueba el estado de tu inscripción y consigue más información en https://voterstatus.sos.ca.gov/ES
Ve a donde puedas votar o entregar tu boleta (hay una opción para buscar en español. Haz clic debajo de “search” para seleccionar el idioma): https://www.sos.ca.gov/elections/polling-place?polling-location%29=
¡Recuerda firmar el sobre de la boleta!
Guía oficial de información para el votante en español: https://vig.cdn.sos.ca.gov/2024/primary/es/pdf/complete-vig.pdf

Descargo de responsabilidad: No soy experta en la política ni el gobierno. Soy solo una persona quien tiene habilidades de leer y buscar información. Si confías en mí, puedes votar como yo. También puedes usar esta guía como un punto de partida para decidir cómo quieres votar.

Consulta rápida

Este cuadro resume mis votos para la elección. Sigue leyendo para ver mis explicaciones.

Oficina o propuesta	Mi voto
Presidente de los Estados Unidos	Claudia de la Cruz
Senador – Periodo completo	Katie Porter
Senador – Periodo parcial/restante	Katie Porter
Propuesta 1	No
Distrito 7 del Congreso	David Lee Mandel
Distrito 10 de la Asamblea	Stephanie Nguyen
Juez de la oficina número 21 de la Corte Superior	Noel Andrew Calvillo
Junta de Educación del Condado de Sacramento	Heather Davis

Cargos nominados por el partido

California tiene una elección primaria “abierta” gracias a Dos Candidatos Principales – Ley de Primaria Abierta. Significa que no estás limitado a votar por candidatos del partido al que perteneces. Los dos candidatos con la mayor cantidad de votos (a pesar de su afiliación partidaria) se van a enfrentar en la elección general en noviembre. Podría haber, por ejemplo, dos candidatos demócratas en contención para el mismo cargo en el Senado, en cambio de un candidato de cada partido.

No obstante, esta regla no aplica a la elección de presidente. Hay que inscribirse a un partido político para escoger a un candidato presidencial en la elección primaria. Si te has inscrito en el partido demócrata, estás limitado a seleccionar entre los candidatos demócratas cuando votes. Yo soy una miembra inscrita del partido Paz y Libertad y debido a eso en mi boleta solo aparecen sus candidatos para presidente (Cornell West, Jasmine Sherman, y Claudia de la Cruz).

Quiero mencionar que la elección primaria es la hora de votar de corazón. Vota al candidato que tenga opiniones fuertes aunque no creas que pueda ganar la elección en noviembre. No escojas preventivamente a un peor candidato. Tendremos muchas oportunidades para escoger al menor de dos males en noviembre.

Presidente de los Estados Unidos

Mi voto: Claudia de la Cruz

De los candidatos del partido Paz y Libertad, creo que Claudia de la Cruz tiene la plataforma (¡en español!) con la que resueno mejor. Parece que ella tiene un nivel de organización para tener éxito en la elección general o al menos para crear un movimiento y coalición. Si te sientes desilusionado con Biden y el resto de los candidatos demócratas ahora, recomiendo mucho que eches un ojo al sitio web de de la Cruz. Creo que estarás agradablemente sorprendido de oír que una candidata llama a recortar el presupuesto militar y nacionalizar las corporaciones de combustibles fósiles.

Es probable que la mayoría de ustedes estén atormentados por los candidatos demócratas (pero permíteme recordarte que ¡puedes cambiar tu preferencia partidaria y obtener una boleta nueva en cualquier momento! Sigue el proceso para el registro del votante en el mismo día para hacerlo del 20 de febrero hasta la elección el 5 de marzo). La lista de candidatos en la boleta parece un poco aleatoria y es porque el Partido Demócrata solo respalda a Joe Biden en esta elección. Los otros dos aspirantes nacionales son Marianne Williamson y Dean Phillips. Williamson está chiflada. Existe un episodio del podcast Maintenance Phase dedicado a su locura. Dean Phillips parece más o menos bien. Es un congresista de Minnesota quien aparentemente fundó una compañía de gelato. Entonces … ok. No sé. Podría ser peor, supongo.

Y tenemos a Joe Biden. Sé que muchos de nosotros estamos en la posición incómoda de estar de acuerdo con los conservadores que lo odian (¡aunque por razones muy diferentes!). Es difícil querer votar por un presidente que tiene 81 años y quien está, al menos, mostrando signos tempranos de demencia. ¡No creo que sea incorrecto querer un presidente que sea más joven y con bastante agilidad mental para hacer el trabajo! Biden ha hecho algunas cosas buenas como presidente. Recibimos el American Rescue Plan Act y dinero para la infraestructura. No obstante, sé que, para muchos de nosotros, su firme apoyo a Israel a pesar de la mortandad creciente es un factor no negociable. No quiero un presidente que apoya un genocidio. También quiero notar que no es simplemente mi opinión que es un genocidio. La Corte Internacional de Justicia, en su respuesta a la demanda de Sudáfrica contra Israel, dice que parece que Israel sí comete algunos actos genocidas. Yo no sé legítimamente si podría votar por Biden en la elección en noviembre, aún con el conocimiento de que la pérdida de Biden significa que tendríamos la victoria de Trump (lo que sería una chingada pesadilla, a propósito). Los demócratas necesitan tener más coraje y nombrar a un candidato mejor. Necesitamos más que dos partidos políticos en este país. No sé si algunas de estas cosas vayan a resolverse antes de noviembre y siento que no pueda ofrecer un consejo mejor o más decisivo.

Cargos nominados por los votantes

Senador de los Estados Unidos: Periodo completo y periodo parcial/restante

Mi voto: Katie Porter

Tener dos votos para senador en la boleta fue confuso para mí. Tuve que desentrañar porque tenemos el voto para senado para periodo completo y para periodo parcial. Las dos son para la misma posición. Uno de nuestros senadores de California es Alex Padilla quien va a terminar su periodo en 2029. Votamos ahora para ocupar la posición de Diane Feinstein. Después de que falleció el año pasado, el Gobernador Newsom nombró a Laphonza Butler para reemplazarla. Butler no busca la reelección como senadora. Entonces el periodo parcial/restante es para escoger a alguien que termine el resto del periodo original de Feinstein, el cual finaliza en enero 2025. La posición de periodo completo es la elección programada regularmente para el periodo que empieza en 2025. Podrías votar por personas diferentes en cada cargo, pero no sería muy útil porque habría un senador que sirva para dos meses y alguien nuevo que se haga cargo en enero.

Esta carrera es entre tres candidatos de perfil alto: Barbara Lee, Katie Porter, y Adam Sciff. Todos los tres son actualmente miembros de la Cámara de Representantes y son muy conocidos por razones diferentes. Me siento indecisa entre votar por Lee o Porter, pero al final he decidido votar por Porter porque ¡estoy harta de estar gobernada por una gerontocracia! Tengo una cantidad enorme de respeto por Lee por ser la única miembro de la Cámara de Representantes en oponerse a la guerra en Afganistán y más. Creo que es una buena congresista. ¡Pero no me motiva votar por alguna persona que debería disfrutar su retiro! Además, no voto por Schiff porque él fue uno de los pocos demócratas que votó para apoyar la propuesta de los republicanos de dar $17.6 mil millones a Israel. ¡Deja de intentar darles dinero a ellos! La plataforma de Schiff dice que quiere financiar a la NASA y tener Medicare para todos. ¡No podemos hacer esto si damos literalmente mil millones a Israel para apoyar su genocidio!

Es probable que Porter sea mejor conocida por interrogar a representantes corporativos y mostrar una pizarra blanca mientras lo hace. Su campaña no acepta dinero de comités de acción política corporativos, lo que creo es genial porque significa que puede hacer a las corporaciones responsables en cambio de estar obligada a ellas. ¡Necesitamos su tenacidad en el senado! ¿Algo notable en su plataforma? Quiere prohibir a los miembros del congreso invertir en la Bolsa. Es completamente loco que miembros activos del congreso puedan intercambiar acciones. Sí, usar información privilegiada es ilegal. ¡No significa que no lo hagan! Es la clase de cosa que parece un cambio muy pequeño pero haría mucho para mejorar nuestro sistema político.

Tengo que mencionar esto antes de continuar. No tiene relación con estos tres candidatos pero vi que el Secretario de Estado añadió este descargo de responsabilidad a la declaración de un candidato en particular. ¿Qué tan desquiciado tienes que estar para merecer esto?

Medidas presentadas a los votantes

Tenemos solo una propuesta estatal en la boleta esta vez. Honestamente me siento agradecida porque me cuesta mucho tiempo para investigar y escribir sobre todo esto.

Propuesta 1

AUTORIZA $6.38 MIL MILLONES EN BONOS PARA CONSTRUIR CENTROS DE TRATAMIENTO DE SALUD MENTAL PARA LAS PERSONAS CON PROBLEMAS DE SALUD MENTAL Y ABUSO DE SUSTANCIAS; PROPORCIONA VIVIENDA A LAS PERSONAS SIN HOGAR. ESTATUTO LEGISLATIVO.

Mi voto: No

Este asunto es difícil porque mi instinto es siempre votar para financiar programas para ayudar a la gente. Sin embargo, no estoy convencida que esta propuesta ayude a alguien. Lo que las personas sin hogar necesitan son hogares. He seguido el Sacramento Homeless Union (Sindicato de Personas sin Hogar de Sacramento) en las redes sociales y un gran sentimiento es que no quieren estar forzados a participar en estos programas para acceder a algunos servicios. Las personas solo necesitan lugares en que se puedan quedar. Es todo. Necesitan ayuda sin estar requeridas a rendir todos sus posesiones y superar muchas trabas. Sí, muchas personas necesitan varias terapias, pero las soluciones deben priorizar el alojamiento primero. ¡No hay suficientes hogares! ¡Las personas no pueden pagar la renta! Ya hay programas para ayudar a personas con el abuso de sustancias y la salud mental. Esta propuesta redistribuiría fondos locales de otros servicios para personas sin hogar a estas facilidades residenciales que ofrecen tratamiento para el drogodependencia. Disability Rights California se opone a la propuesta (página en español). Cal Matters nota que —el bono de $6.4 mil millones crearía hasta 4,350 hogares nuevos para las personas que necesitan servicios de salud mental y la adicción; 2,350 de lo que estaría reservado para los veteranos … en un estado con una población estimada de personas sin hogar de más de 180,000. No creo que sea la solución. Parece que Newsom quiere proyectar la apariencia de hacer algo.

Posiciones locales

Es el punto en que es probable que nuestras boletas diverjan. Aún así me gusta compartir mi razonamiento. Si tienes una pregunta sobre una de tus candidaturas locales, ¡deja un comentario o ponte en contacto conmigo! Puedo ayudarte con tu boleta.

Distrito 7 del Congreso

Mi voto: David Lee Mandel

No es que no me guste nuestra representante actual, Doris Matsui, pero parece que Mandel es mucho más progresista. Él demanda un cese al fuego en Gaza, quiere un sistema de salud de un solo pagador, y apoya la eliminación del colegio electoral. Además, Matsui no entregó una declaración para la guía oficial para votantes. Entiendo que es la incumbente, pero ¿no puede hacer el esfuerzo de escribir un poco explicando porque merece nuestros votos? Para mí, es irrespetuoso. También ella es otra congresista que ¡tiene un millón años de edad! Tiene 79 años ahora. Por favor, retírate y disfruta tu vida, te lo ruego.

Distrito 10 de la Asamblea

Mi voto: Stephanie Nguyen

Mira, no voy a votar por ningún republicano entonces por supuesto voto por Nguyen, la única otra candidata en la carrera para el distrito 10. El candidato republicano ¡no publicó una declaración en la guía. ¡Qué perezoso! Nguyen es la incumbente aquí y parece que ha hecho bastante bien hasta ahora. Parece ser una simpatizante de la polícia y los negocios más de lo que me gustaría, pero podría ser peor.

Juez de la oficina número 21 de la Corte Superior

Mi voto: Noel Andrew Calvillo

Siempre requiere algún esfuerzo para determinar quiénes son los candidatos judiciales porque estos cargos son apartidistas (no tienen afiliación con un partido político) y los jueces no publican una plataforma como los legisladores aspirantes lo hacen. Tenemos que juzgarlos con base en su trasfondo y quién los respalda. Mi selección inicial era Amy Holliday por la razón que es la única persona que tiene una declaración en la guía para votantes. Sin embargo, ella es actualmente la fiscal de distrito para el Condado de Sacramento y la mitad de sus apoyos en su sitio web vienen de grupos policiales. No me gusta. Creo que Calvillo es la mejor opción. Parece que ha hecho muy buen trabajo y tiene apoyo de personas reales (no solo policías).

Junta de Educación del Condado de Sacramento

Mi voto: Heather Davis

Davis es la incumbente en este cargo y ha servido en la Junta de Educación del Condado desde su elección en 2016. No pude encontrar ninguna información sobre su oponente, Shazleen Khan, quien no proveyó ninguna declaración y ni respondió a la prensa local. Es super básico pero si intentas presentarte como candidato, tienes que tener un sitio web o una página de facebook al menos. Entonces, supongo que votaré por Davis.

¡Comparte esta guía!

¡Has llegado al final! Te aliento a compartir esta guía si la encontraste útil. Por favor deja un comentario si crees que olvidé algo importante. ¡Gracias por votar!

voter guide

Voter Guide: March 5, 2024 California Primary Election

Posted on February 11, 2024 by Lindsey

Hello, friends and enemies! It’s election season again. In California, midterm elections are on March 5, but you should get a ballot in the mail in early February, if you haven’t already. Remember that you can vote by mail or in person.

¿Buscas la versión en español? Está aquí.

Reminders and Resources for California Voters

Everyone in California will get a ballot in the mail this election! You do not have to go to a polling place if you don’t want to.
Register to vote. The last day to register is Tuesday, February 20. You can still register after February 20, but you need to use the same-day voter registration form.
Check your voter status online: https://voterstatus.sos.ca.gov/
See where you can vote or drop off your paper ballot: https://www.sos.ca.gov/elections/polling-place
Remember to sign your ballot envelope!

Disclaimer: I am not an expert on politics or government. I’m just a person who’s good at reading and looking things up. If you trust my judgment, you can vote how I vote. You can also use my guide as a starting point for your own research.

Quick Reference

This table summarizes how I’m planning to vote in this election. I explain my choices below!

Position/Proposition	My Vote
President of the United States	Claudia de la Cruz
Senator – Full Term	Katie Porter
Senator – Partial Term	Katie Porter
Proposition 1	No
Congressional District 7	David Lee Mandel
Assembly District 10	Stephanie Nguyen
Judge of the Superior Court Office No. 21	Noel Andrew Calvillo
Sacramento County Board of Education, Governing Board Member, Trustee Area 6	Heather Davis

Party-nominated offices

California has an “open” primary thanks to the Top Two Candidates Open Primary Act. This means that you are not restricted to voting for candidates for the political party you belong to. The two candidates with the most votes—regardless of party affiliation—will face off in the general election in November. That means we can have, for example, two Democratic candidates running for the same senate seat, rather than one candidate from each party.

However, this does not apply to voting for president. You must have a party preference listed to be able to vote in the presidential party. If you’re a registered Democrat, you’re restricted to choosing from among the Democratic candidates when voting for president. I am registered for the Peace and Freedom party, so my ballot only has their candidates (Cornell West, Jasmine Sherman, and Claudia de la Cruz) available for me to vote for.

I want to note here that the primary elections are the time to vote with your heart. Vote for the candidate you feel strongly about even if you don’t think their chances are good in November. Don’t preemptively pick a worse candidate. We’ll have plenty of chances for lesser-of-two-evils voting in November.

President of the United States

My vote: Claudia de la Cruz

Of the Peace and Freedom party candidates, I think Claudia de la Cruz has the platform I most resonate with and the level of organization possible to make it in the general election, or at least to create a strong coalition and movement. If you’re feeling disillusioned with Biden and the rest of the Democratic candidates right now, I highly recommend taking a look at de la Cruz’s website. I think you will be pleasantly surprised to hear a candidate calling for slashing the military’s budget and nationalizing fossil fuel corporations.

Most of you are probably agonizing over the choice for the democratic candidate (though let me remind you that you can change your party preference and get a new ballot at any point! Use the same-day voter registration form to do so anytime from February 20 through the election itself on March 5). The list of candidates on the ballot probably seems random and that’s because the Democratic Party is only backing Joe Biden for this election. The other two national contenders are Marianne Williamson and Dean Phillips. Williamson is a nut. There’s a whole episode of the Maintenance Phase podcast dedicated to how bonkers she is. Do not vote for this woman. Dean Phillips seems fine to me. He’s a congressman from Minnesota who apparently founded a gelato company of all things? I don’t know. We could do worse I suppose.

So, Joe Biden. I know a lot of us are in the uncomfortable position of really not liking the same guy conservatives have been hating for the last few years (albeit for completely different reasons). It’s hard to want to vote for a president who is 81 years old and is, at best, showing the early signs of dementia. I don’t think it’s wrong to want a president who is younger and mentally agile enough to do the job! Biden has done some good stuff as president. We got the American Rescue Plan act and money for infrastructure. However, I know for a lot of us that his unwavering support of Israel in spite of the mounting death toll is a huge deal breaker. I don’t want a president who is supporting a genocide. I also want to note it’s not merely my opinion that this is a genocide, the International Court of Justice, in response to South Africa’s suit against Israel, says that Israel does seem to be committing some genocidal acts (page 4 of the linked PDF). I legitimately don’t know if I have it in me to vote for Biden in the November election, even knowing that Biden losing will probably mean Trump winning (which will be a fucking nightmare by the way). The Democrats need to grow a spine and pick a better candidate. We need more than two political parties in this country. I don’t know if any of that will get resolved before November and I’m sorry I can’t bring you better or more definitive voting advice.

Voter-nominated Offices

United States Senate: Full Term and Partial/Unexpired Term

My vote: Katie Porter

This is confusing and it took me a little while to figure out what’s going on with having the full term and partial term senate seats on the ballot. Both of these votes are for the same position. One of our California senators is Alex Padilla who will serve until 2029. We are voting to fill Diane Feinstein’s position. After her death last year, Governor Newsom appointed Laphonza Butler to her seat. Butler is not seeking election to the Senate. Voting for the Partial/Unexpired Term is picking a senator to finish the rest of Feinstein’s original senate term, which ends in January 2025. The Full Term position is our regularly scheduled senate election for the term starting in 2025. You could vote for different people for each of these positions, but that would not be super helpful because you’d have a senator coming in for two months then a new senator taking over in January.

This race is really between three high-profile candidates: Barbara Lee, Katie Porter, and Adam Schiff. All three are currently serving in the House of Representatives and are very well known for different reasons. I am torn between Lee and Porter but am ultimately voting for Porter because I am just fucking tired of being governed by a gerontocracy. I have a huge amount of respect for Lee for being the only member of congress to vote against going to war in Afghanistan. I think she is a great legislator. I just can’t bring myself to vote for another person who should be enjoying their retirement. I am not voting for Schiff because he was one of the very few Democrats to vote to support the Republican’s standalone bill to give Israel $17.6 billion. Stop trying to give them money! Schiff’s platform says he wants to fund NASA and have Medicare for all. We can’t do that if we give literal billions to Israel to support their genocide.

Porter is probably best known for grilling corporate representatives and holding up whiteboards while doing it. Her campaign is not taking money from corporate political action committees, which I think is great because that means she can hold corporations accountable instead of being beholden to them. We need her tenacity in the senate. Something notable in her platform? Banning members of congress from trading stocks! It’s completely insane that sitting members of congress can trade stocks. Yes, insider trading is illegal. That doesn’t mean they’re not doing it! This is the kind of thing that seems like a small change but would do so much to improve our political system.

I have to add this note before we move on. This isn’t about these three candidates but I saw that the Secretary of State added a disclaimer to one particular candidate’s statement. You have to be very off the rails for the SOS to do this.

Measures Submitted to the Voters

We have just one statewide proposition on the ballot this time. Honestly, I’m thankful because it takes a lot of time to read up and write about these things.

Proposition 1

AUTHORIZES $6.38 BILLION IN BONDS TO BUILD MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT FACILITIES FOR THOSE WITH MENTAL HEALTH AND SUBSTANCE USE CHALLENGES; PROVIDES HOUSING FOR THE HOMELESS. LEGISLATIVE STATUTE.

My vote: No

This is another hard one because my gut feeling is to always vote to fund programs to help people. However, I am not convinced that this proposition would actually help anyone. What unhoused people need is housing. I have been following the Sacramento Homeless Union online and a big sentiment is they don’t want to have to be forced to go through these programs to get access to any services. People just need places to stay. That’s it. They need help without having to give up all their possessions and jump through a bunch of hoops. Yes, a lot of people do need various therapies, but solutions should prioritize housing first. There aren’t enough places to live! People can’t afford rent! There are already programs in place for helping people with substance abuse and mental health. This proposition would reallocate local funds from other services for unhoused people to these residential facilities with substance treatment. Disability Rights California opposes the proposition. Cal Matters notes that “the $6.4 billion bond would create up to 4,350 new homes for people who need mental health and addiction services — 2,350 of which would be reserved for veterans … in a state with an estimated homeless population of more than 180,000.” It doesn’t seem like this is the answer. It seems like Newsom just wants to seem like he’s doing something.

Local Races

This is where our ballots probably diverge. I still like to share my thought process even if these elections aren’t relevant to most of you. If you have a question about one of your local races, leave a comment or contact me! I’m happy to help you figure out your ballot.

Congressional District 7

My vote: David Lee Mandel

I don’t dislike our current representative, Doris Matsui, but Mandel sounds like he is a lot more progressive. He is calling for a ceasefire in Gaza, wants single-payer healthcare, and supports getting rid of the Electoral College. Also, Matsui didn’t even submit a statement to put in the voter guide. I get that she’s the incumbent, but she can’t bother to write a little something about why we should vote for her? That feels disrespectful to me. Also, she’s another legislator that’s a million years old! She’s 79 right now. Please retire and enjoy your life, I beg you.

Assembly District 10

My vote: Stephanie Nguyen

Look, I’m not voting for a Republican so of course I’m voting for Nguyen, the only other person running in District 10. The Republican candidate didn’t even publish a statement in the voter guide. So lazy! Nguyen is the incumbent here and it seems like she’s done a decent job so far. She seems more pro-police and pro-business interests for my tastes, but we could certainly do worse.

Judge of the Superior Court Office No. 21

My vote: Noel Andrew Calvillo

It always takes a little work to figure out who the judicial candidates are because these are nonpartisan offices (not affiliated with a political party) and judges don’t put out a platform like prospective legislators do. We have to judge them on their background and who endorses them. My initial choice was Amy Holliday because she’s the only person who has a statement in the voter guide. However, she is currently the district attorney for Sacramento County and half the endorsements on her website are from police groups. I don’t like that. I think Calvillo is our best choice. It sounds like he has done a lot of good work and he has endorsements from actual people (not just police).

Sacramento County Board of Education, Governing Board Member, Trustee Area 6

My vote: Heather Davis

Davis is the incumbent in this position and has been on the County Board of Education since she was elected in 2016. I couldn’t find any information about her opponent, Shazleen Khan. She didn’t provide a candidate statement or respond to local news outlets. This sounds super basic, but if you’re going to run for office, you at least have to have a website or a facebook page or something. So, I guess I’m voting Davis.

Share This Post!

You made it to the end! I invite you to share this post if you found it useful. Please leave a comment if you think I missed something important. Thanks for voting!

weekly update

Two Weeks in the Life: February 3, 2024

Posted on February 3, 2024 by Lindsey

Hello, friends and enemies. I’m publishing slightly early this week. I wrote most of this post on Thursday because I had no idea how lucid I was going to feel on Sunday, when I normally write my posts. I got my liver biopsied yesterday because my doctor is trying to find out how dire my fatty liver really is. I was supposed to go for the biopsy on Wednesday, but I got a call from the hospital at the last minute that morning telling me they needed to reschedule for “staffing issues” (I assume everyone got covid and called in sick). This was very annoying because I just wanted the damn thing over with and I had oriented my whole week around dealing with this. Kirk and I both ended up working on Wednesday instead.

Getting the biopsy was way less terrible than I thought it might be. I had been informed that it’s a routine procedure and not that bad but it’s just hard to imagine that getting a needle directly into an organ to take a sample like those scientists extracting ice cores in Antarctica is going to be anything other than horrific. The procedure itself only takes about five minutes, though I did have to spend a few hours at the hospital between getting ready and then being monitored afterwards to make sure nothing bad happened. I also thought I would be fully knocked out for the procedure since they told me I would be under sedation, but they actually just gave me enough to feel a little goofy while staying conscious. The doctor said it would feel like “two margaritas.” I did feel a little out of it afterwards, but not enough to prevent me from reading a book while I was waiting around to be discharged. The doctor also told me I could “resume normal activities” the next day, which of course had me asking “what constitutes normal activities?” I don’t think you can tell someone to resume normal activities if you don’t know what those are. I ended up getting some more details from my nurse (who was really nice and attentive through the whole process). I said normally on Saturday I have an hour-and-a-half ballet class. He said maybe do thirty minutes and stay hydrated. I am going to rest for at least a few days and see how I feel but I do think it’s silly that the doctor is like “yeah go back to normal.” How do you know I’m not planning to pull a truck tomorrow, my guy?

I am feeling okay today, considering, a little sore and a bit tired. Kirk has announced he will be handling all household tasks for a couple of days so I am planning to take it very easy and make sure I don’t aggravate anything.

Books and Other Words

Yellowface by R. F. Kuang really had me hooked. I finished it in one day. The story follows Juniper “June” Hayward, a 20-something author with one book that almost nobody read and had zero cultural impact. June is deeply insecure and jealous of her successful author friend Athena Liu. When Athena suddenly dies, June steals her freshly printed first draft novel about Chinese laborers in World War I and, in a series of increasingly insane justifications, publishes the book as her own under the name Juniper Song (Song being June’s middle name bestowed by her former-hippie mother). This book had me practically screaming at June’s audacity. She is the picture of an apparently liberal white woman who is, in fact, constantly belittling all the people of color she comes in contact with. She is fueled by jealousy over the “unfairness” of Athena’s riotously successful career. I’ve read several of Kuang’s novels so far and really loved the last one, Babel: An Arcane History. Yellowface is a very different novel but still has a strong affinity with her previous work through the theme of “white supremacy and colonialism can go fuck themselves.” Highly recommended.

Sex with a Brain Injury: On Concussion and Recovery is by Annie Liontas, who I don’t know personally but who is good friends with my good friend Lito (and they host the LitFriends podcast together) so I feel like we are almost friends. And if we weren’t (almost) friends before, I feel like I know Liontas a lot after this book, which is so vulnerable. The work is a window to what it’s like to recover from a traumatic brain injury. Liontas combines her own experience with research, which shows, among other things, that people who get a TBI have a high risk of getting a second (and then a third, a fourth, perhaps a fifth) TBI, complicating the recovery process. Sex with a Brain Injury emphasizes the feeling of otherness that having a TBI brings, a sense of being outside the body or that someone else has taken over your life and you’re just riding along. I was surprised at how much overlap there is between this and what it can feel like to be autistic (because I gotta make everything about autism). The experience of being overwhelmed by stimuli, needing routine, getting emotional without knowing why—that all overlaps with the autistic experience. Liontas also talks a little about going to vision therapy as part of her treatment process and I laughed when I realized she was describing the exact same activities and 1990s-looking computer program that I used to treat my wonky eyesight. It is weird how delicate the brain is and that there are multiple issues that can lead to the same problems with navigating the world. We’re all walking the neurological tight rope one misstep away from infinite migraines.

Fugitive Telemetry is the penultimate book in Martha Well’s Murderbot series (so far) and System Collapse is the most recent installment. I have said a lot about Murderbot already here while re-reading the previous five stories, but I will say again that I love Murderbot and find the character endearing. AI, robots, what have you are always fictional stand-ins for discussions of what it means to be a person. System Collapse in particular focuses on the question of trauma and how not dealing with it can affect us bodily (but, you know, told through the medium of a sarcastic human-bot construct named Murderbot). I think it was a good entry in the series and I hope Wells keeps writing these stories because I always enjoy them.

Hardback book: Yellowface. The cover is all yellow and minimalist with just a pair of eyes and the title — Yellowface by R. F. Kuang

hardback book: Sex with a Brain Injury. Cover is mostly blocky text over a red and black gradient — Yellowface by R. F. Kuang

Meanwhile, on the internet:

World Court orders Israel to prevent genocide—but falls short of demanding end to Gaza war via the Los Angeles Times. South Africa sued Israel in the International Court of Justice to try to get them to stop committing genocide against Palestinians and requested that the Court immediately order Israel to “halt its military campaign until the case is decided.” The ICJ is letting the case continue and has told Israel they have to let humanitarian aid through. I know I’ve written a little about the situation in Palestine a little so far but I just don’t know how to express how horrific it seems. I hate that the United States is bankrolling a genocide. Israel has killed over 26,000 people since October. They have no water. There are no more hospitals left in Gaza. It’s atrocious.
Trump and allies forge plans to increase presidential power in 2025 via The New York Times. The damage a second Trump term would cause really cannot be overstated. Some will think this sounds hysterical, but if Trump wins the election, we may never have another one. I mean, “Personal power has always been a driving force for Mr. Trump. He often gestures toward it in a more simplistic manner, such as in 2019, when he declared to a cheering crowd, ‘I have an Article 2, where I have the right to do whatever I want as president.'” This is a man who wants to be a dictator and there are enough rogues supporting him to make it happen. We’re already living with the consequences of his presidency. For just one example, I ran across this study this week: rape-related pregnancies in the 14 US states with total abortion violence. The research found that, “In the 14 states that implemented total abortion bans following the Dobbs decision, we estimated that 519,981 completed rapes were associated with 64,565 pregnancies during the 4 to 18 months that bans were in effect.” And this is just ONE THING Trump fucked up for us. We have seen enough.
Half of recent US inflation due to high corporate profits, report finds via The Guardian. From the article, “corporate profits accounted for about 53% of inflation during last year’s second and third quarters. Profits drove just 11% of price growth in the 40 years prior to the pandemic.” It would be one thing if prices went up so employees could be paid fairly, but no, this is a blatant cash grab for people at the top.
How Boeing ruined the JetBlue-Spirit merger via The American Prospect. Look, I’m not that interested in plane news but, uh, did you know they are running out of planes? Boeing “has delayed all new orders until 2029.” This does not inspire confidence in air travel as a system. Can we get a robust rail network now or what?
The self-checkout nightmare may finally be ending via Gizmodo. Self-checkout! Everyone hates it! Stores are losing money because it’s easy to steal both accidentally and on purpose! Could corporations finally be learning that sometimes you just have to pay people to do a job instead of laying off as many people as possible?
Abby R on The Moth Story Slam via YouTube. My wonderful friend Abby is hilarious and a genius and tells a damn good story. Someone needs to set her up with a Netflix special already.

TV and Music

Kirk and I have now watched all four seasons of For All Mankind on Apple TV. The premise of the show is that the Russians beat the U.S. to landing on the moon. This pisses the U.S. off and motivates a lot of investment in the space program, culminating in sending a team to Mars in 2003! It is both cool and depressing to see a dispatch from an alternate timeline (Al Gore became president in 2000! I fucking wish!!). I love that for them. I hope they enjoy their fancy technology that came from investing in scientific advancement. The episodes are long, about an hour each, and there is a lot of juicy interpersonal drama to keep the show moving amid the space stuff. It’s not the greatest show I’ve ever seen but it was entertaining enough to watch and made us yell at the TV a lot about how jealous we were of the characters.

Rampant Consumerism

This is something that is kind of the opposite of consumerism, but I did spend money so I’m putting it here. I was reading a tumblr post about setting up programs that block ads. Not just ads on your web browser, but stopping ads at the source, before they load. This person found that 60% of the web traffic they were getting was from ads. Isn’t that insane? You’re just paying to get the ads piped directly to you. I fucking hate ads. Advertising is fundamentally opposed to who I am as a person so I was surprised and delighted to learn you can actually buy a program that stops the ads an the trackers. I’ve been using AdGuard Home for the last few days and it seems great so far. I had to laugh when I clicked on a Yahoo article and it prompted me to “enhance your Yahoo experience by allowing us to share and sell your personal information.” Really? That enhances my experience? Fuck off, for real. I also installed AdGuard on my phone, which you cannot do through the App/Play stores because blocking ads and tracking is antithetical to the business model of smartphones. The phone version of the program keeps a running tally of the data it’s saved by blocking all this shit. I saved 2 gigabytes of data over about 48 hours. What the fuck? So, a hearty recommendation for this product. Join the biggest boycott in history! Block your ads!

Languages

I’ve had Arabic on my mind all month. A friend asked me to recommend some resources to start learning it and my embarrassingly influenceable mind was like “hell yeah, we should learn some Arabic.” To my credit, I’m not wrong. I should learn some Arabic. I got a whole bachelor’s degree in Arabic and basically all I can say is “I studied Arabic in college but forgot everything” and “I am a UN translator” (shout out to textbook videos that stay with you forever). The language feels like unfinished business for me. I don’t need anything more to do (lol. lmao even.) but I did start studying just a little Arabic (as a treat) on the Lingq and Drops apps. It’s surprising how being reminded of even a few words has awoken a whole network of information in my mind. Running into the word for “week” immediately had me remembering how to say “next week” and “last week,” for example. It is nice that I already know how to read, and I mean that in the literal sense of I can read the Arabic script, so it doesn’t feel as hard to drop in on studying this language again. Don’t worry, I’m not giving up Icelandic or Spanish (quite the opposite), but if I don’t get to study everything I feel like studying, I will die.

Kitchen Witchery

I’ve still been working on incorporating the recommendations from my dietician into what I’m eating and to that end I tried two new bread recipes: back-of-the-bag oatmeal bread and no-knead oat bread. Oats are a whole grain! Both were quite good. I really liked the “back of the bag” loaf. The no-knead bread was good but to be honest I think it needs to be a some-knead bread. I also should have let it rise a little more because my house was cold but I was like let’s get this show on the road and baked it anyway. It still came out respectably though; I’m not mad at it. I am also making more smoothies, which is honestly the most surprising thing to me. Smoothies can be good? Because I have no respect for made-up rules, I have tried adding some ice cream to my smoothies, which was an excellent choice. If the goal is to eat fruit, adding a little ice cream to make it easier is definitely allowed. Encouraged, even. Ice cream or not, I never thought I would want to make smoothies. The dietician asked me to try one and I have been making them every other day because I’m actually feeling better having applied her suggestions. I don’t feel as constantly hungry as I normally would. She has definitely cracked some kind of code for me. Adding more omega-3, fruit, and whole grains to my diet is doing something good, even if it doesn’t help my liver (but I also really want it to help my liver). This is great for me but is also makes me so fucking mad that all I need was some fucking extra fiber in my diet and I feel better? A big “fuck you” to every doctor who has been like “I know you exercise, why are you still fat?” and “Try not drinking soda.” Have even a little curiosity about your patients, for fucks’ sake.

Anyway, I have made some regular food too. I tried some more Rancho Gordo bean recipes, of course. I made the Christmas limas with gorgonzola sauce, which was rich and delicious. I added a packet of gnocchi at the end to round out the dish, which is going to be a permanent addition to my version of this recipe. I also tried a snowcap chowder with sage, bacon and sweet potatoes (not pictured and, sorry, no link. Why did I even bring it up, right?). It was good but I think I added too much liquid and it would be better as just a bowl of food instead of a soup. Next time I might roast the sweet potatoes then pile it all together. Finally, I roasted a chicken (here’s the guide I use)! Because I can and it is actually very easy. I love that I can cook risotto in the Instant Pot. I don’t have to stand around stirring forever. Bless you, pressure cooker.

A loaf of bread that has oats incorporated into the dough. Shown here in cross section — oat break

a loaf of no-knead oat bread, cut in half to reveal a somewhat under-proofed middle — oat break

Cat Therapy

Finally, here are some cat photos for your nerves.

Fritz the cat lying inside a zipped-up hoodie. His face is sticking out at the neck and his tail is visible at the bottom — Fritz being cozy

Huey the cat lounging on her pillow with her paws demurely crossed in front of her — Fritz being cozy

weekly update

Two Weeks in the Life: January 21, 2024

Posted on January 21, 2024 by Lindsey

Hello, friends and enemies. The last two weeks have been busy. I’ve had a lot of appointments. I am taking many dance classes. I am trying to read my books and live my life. Oh yeah, and I have to work. On top of all that, we have noticed that the ice maker inside our refrigerator is leaking. We have had to turn it off to prevent further problems. Someone is supposed to come look at it this week and I am desperately hoping this doesn’t become a whole thing. We have barely recovered from the dishwasher saga. I have had to resort to making ice in ice trays again (first world problems, I know). This is a reminder to stay humble. Just when you think you’ve arrived in life, you’re back to making your own ice cubes.

Books and Other Words

Martha Well’s Network Effect is the fifth book in the Muderbot series and the first to be a full-length novel. What I like about this story in particular is we see Murderbot, a machine-human construct, figuring out what it means to be friends with another bot, the research vessel Perehelion (aka ART [Asshole Research Transport]). Seeing both Murderbot and ART ready to kill all humans on each other’s behalf just warms my heart.

The Future by Naomi Alderman was a really good read. This doesn’t surprise me. I liked her previous book, The Power, enough to write a whole post about it. The Future asks what it might take to improve the future. What would stop or slow global warming? What would reduce wealth inequality? What can anyone do about it? The Future is set in the near future and focuses on the people close to three tech billionaires who are running companies roughly analogous to Google, Facebook, and Amazon. The billionaires are obsessed with the idea that there will be some kind of apocalypse and only they will have the resources to weather it in safety, unlike the rest of us plebs. I don’t feel like I can really describe the plot without spoiling it, but I will say that it’s kind of a fictional distillation of the non-fiction books The Age of Surveillance Capitalism and The Big Nine, plus maybe Margaret Atwood’s Oryx and Crake.

Manufacturing Consent: The Political Economy of the Mass Media is a book published in 1988 that feels extremely relevant in today’s media climate. Edward Herman and Noam Chomsky’s argument is that the way the American media choose what to report on, and the framework they use in reporting, creates support for the United States government’s political agenda. There’s definitely a reason that this book is a classic in the genre. Even though this book is almost 40 years old, it felt completely relevant to the way, for example, that Israel’s war against the Palestinian people is being depicted in American news (just look at all the comments about how the media largely ignored South Africa’s opening arguments at the International Court of Justice). The book discusses several examples, including the Vietnam war, and elections in Guatemala, Nicaragua, and El Salvador and how the media covered these topics. The essence of Herman and Chomsky’s argument is that the media apply different frames of reporting to the United States’ enemies versus its friends. Elections in a friendly country are considered fair and citizens are seen as enthusiastic participants (even if, as in the El Salvador election, voting is compulsory and anyone who doesn’t vote may well be murdered by the state). Whereas elections in a country that is, say, flirting with socialism, are coercive, don’t have enough choice, and problematic for various reasons. The authors ultimately conclude that the press is supporting the agenda the wealthy and political elite rather than focusing on informing the public. They also note that, because news reporting is funded by advertising, advertisers themselves play an outsized role in what is allowed to appear in print. Herman and Chomsky are not arguing that this American media model is like what you would see in an authoritarian state—no one is getting disappeared for reporting on sensitive subjects—but the press selectively ignores some topics that don’t agree with the government/elite’s viewpoints. The antidote to this kind of media malaise? As usual, it’s up to use to educate ourselves and our communities. The good news is, with the internet, we have a lot of options for where we can get our news and it’s easy to find sources from other countries or independent outlets.

cover for Network Effect shown on ereader — Network Effect

Meanwhile, on the internet:

I was told no one wants fat girls. Growing up, my body was a punch line via The Cut. This essay was a gut punch for me. There are a lot of poignant bits for me but this one really hurts, “the systematic derogation of certain bodies — ones that are fat, as well as trans, nonwhite, or disabled — leaves some of us vulnerable to additional harms. For one, we may consent to sexual and romantic relationships we don’t want out of a sense that we’re not entitled to say no, or that this is the best we can do.”
Fast-food giants overwork teenagers, driving America’s child labor crisis via The Washington Post (gift link). Yikes. “Child labor violations have more than tripled in the past 10 years, with violations in food service increasing almost sixfold.” Call me a radical socialist if you must, but I am against workplaces taking advantage of children.
Asking people to “do the research” on fake news stories makes them seem more believable, not less via Nieman Lab. Some researchers did a literature review of what happens when people attempt online “research” on news stories. The results found that this often entrenches incorrect information and fringe beliefs. Gang, I think our society is in real danger.
We need jungle [I’m afraid] via Venjent on YouTube. And now for something fun. Some British quiz show asked a question about electronic music and, when the contestant responded “drum and bass,” the host said “I can’t accept ‘drum and bass.’ We need ‘jungle’ I’m afraid.” This has, of course, spawned a bunch of jungle remixes. I find this hilarious.

Rampant Consumerism

I mentioned last time that I’d been having a lot of back pain while in bed and I ordered a new pillow about it. Now that it’s here and I’ve had the chance to use it, I gotta say, it’s great. My back does not hurt! I’m not rolling around all night like a gas station hot dog under the heat lamp! It’s a triangular pillow that goes under the thighs and gets the back into better alignment. Highly recommended! I also got a new pillow for my head and I wasn’t sure if I was going to like it but the last few nights I have sunk into the bed and passed the fuck out so I guess it is working. For the curious, this is the pillow I bought.

Languages

On the recommendation of my Icelandic teacher I tried out a language-learning tool called lingq. I told him that this year I am really trying to get out of the intermediate slump and he thought this might help. So far, I’m into it. It has texts and, as you’re reading, you can click on any word to see the definition then mark the word on a scale from known to unknown, then the app quizzes you on the words later. You can also add your own texts, so you can use it to read articles online or ebooks (if you have a format you can upload) or whatever. I think this is going to be really good for me. It seems like a good intermediate tool. I definitely would not use this for my Spanish, since I can already read books with minimal assistance. I think it would be a little overwhelming for a true beginner, but it’s working great for me for Icelandic right now.

Corporeal Form

I’ve had a whole bunch of appointments in the last two weeks and I did learn a few things. I shall start with the most annoying. Note, if you are sensitive to any discussion related to eating disorders, please skip the next paragraph.

My gastroenterologist referred me to one of Kaiser’s “wellness coaches,” which I did not think was going to be useful but I’m trying to keep an open mind and avoid being seen as a difficult patient. This appointment lasted all of ten minutes, which does not seem to me like enough time to do much of anything. The woman asked me very few questions. One was “how often do you eat.” I told her I try to eat when I’m hungry and she responded to that with “sometimes we shouldn’t eat when we’re hungry.” Red flag! If you want someone to develop/reacquaint themselves with an eating disorder, that seems like great advice to get you there. I’ve spent years trying to learn to listen to my body so this actively made me angry. She also asked if I had tried to lose weight before and I said yes but I always plateau after maybe losing 30 pounds. Her advice was that sometimes to get through a plateau, we just have to eat even less. Which … jesus christ. Other than “don’t eat,” her main advice was that half of what I eat should be vegetables, which sounds great in theory but very challenging in practice. I asked how to eat half a plate of vegetables for breakfast and she suggested putting them in an omelette. I am a committed egg-hater, so I said that advice will not work for me. At this point, she changed the subject and asked if I’d like to try weight-loss drugs. I said no because I have osteopenia and these drugs are bad for your bone density. I’d rather be fat and have bones. Anyway, she wrapped things up pretty quickly after that.

I had not one but two fibroscans, which measure the fattiness and the fibrosis of the liver. The first was at Kaiser and the second was through a study. I thought the study was paying me a lot more than the $25 I got, but I guess I misread the website and there is more money that you can get with doing some more activities over time. In any case, the first scan at Kaiser showed that my fibrosis score was 42 kilopascals—a normal liver is not over 7—but the second scan was only 27 kilopascals. Unfortunately, either score is in the “you are in the worst stage of fibrosis” category, but that is still a really big difference. My doctor said that, for fat people, this test is often unreliable and inflates the severity of the fibrosis, so she wants me to get a liver biopsy to find out what’s really going on. I’m going to do it but I’m annoyed because, no matter what the results are, the doctor’s only advice is to lose weight.

I met with the physical therapist who I saw last year for my shitty knees. Since getting the abdominal ultrasound to find out if I have fatty liver and learning more about my organs, I—and I know this sounds a little wacky—have noticed my spleen (yes, my enlarged spleen) is kind of hurting. So, I emailed my PT like “am I crazy and also can you help?” Because she is extremely cool and smart, she said I am not crazy and there are some things we can try. She gave me a couple of activities that I can do to very gently massage my torso and some stretchy kind of things to open up my chest. We also talked about referred pain, which is when pain from internal organs can cause ouchiness (technical term lol) in other parts of the body. Apparently liver issues can cause shoulder pain? So wild.

Finally I had a full intake appointment with my new dietician, Jackie. I will just say: she is great. She is the only person who has told me that there are some specific things I can do for my liver. She scoffed when I told her all the doctor advised me to do is lose weight. She asked me a ton of questions about what kind of stuff I eat, when, and who I eat with, what I hate, what other medical conditions I’m worried about, etc. She gave me a few recommendations to start with and we’re going to meet again in a few weeks to see how it’s going and add more things to try out. First, it seems like getting omega-3 fatty acids is good for the liver. Unfortunately for me, one of the best sources of omega-3 is fish, which I cannot eat because it makes me sick. Jackie has me trying out adding a tablespoon of flax meal to my oatmeal in the morning to get omega-3 instead, which is pretty easy. I also ordered some of the non-fish-based omega-3 supplements. Second, as many of you know (probably from reading my blog and seeing what I cook), I’m also not a big fan of fruit, mostly for texture reasons. So one of my other dietician homework tasks was to try making a smoothie to get some fruit in my diet. I still don’t love fruit but it wasn’t that bad and if this is all I have to do to improve my liver health, I am not going to complain (very much). Finally, I am supposed to try adding some more whole grains to my diet. Jackie suggested getting whole grain pasta, which I may yet, try, but I made a mostly whole-grain bread recipe this week and it was really good. So, I think all this stuff is pretty doable. As with most things in this life, I just needed someone to give me a little direction and now I can run with it.

Kitchen Witchery

I looked back at my photos and apparently I cooked a lot of new stuff in the last two weeks! I like having oatmeal for breakfast but do not like making breakfast every day, so I tried this spiced Irish oatmeal with cream and crunchy sugar recipe (reminder, you can get access NYT Food through the Sacramento Public Library [and probably other libraries]). I added some pecans because that’s how I like to live. I also used this as a vehicle for the flax meal the dietician suggested and that worked very well. I tried making a smoothie and it was not as horrible as it might have been. I know this sounds weird but I just don’t like drinking not-water things very much. It feels like a lot of work to me. It probably took me at least 30 minutes of concentrated effort to finish this smoothie. I also don’t usually love smoothies because they insist on being full of banana, which I genuinely think tastes bad. This one was good though and I managed to avoid the dreaded banana. I used this recipe as a base and went with a frozen fruit blend of pineapple, mango, and coconut then blended it with some oat milk, yogurt, and a bit of almonds. This is not going to become a smoothie blog (lmao can you imagine), but I am writing about this one. I also made a maple-walnut oat bread (but I used pecans because I was out of walnuts) to try to get some more whole grains. This was a really good bread! Again, if this is what it takes to make my liver a little better, it’s not so bad.

Kirk and I both really liked this winter squash and rice soup topped with bacon and we enjoyed another variation on lentils and farro: french onion baked lentils and farro. You can probably add cheese and caramelized onions to almost anything and it will be good, so this one isn’t really surprising. I tried out a bean recipe served with some cheesy polenta, roughly based on one of the Rancho Gordo bean club recipes. Kirk told me he doesn’t like polenta, but he was willing to try it. I guess his past experiences with polenta were bad, but he liked what I made. I have also converted him to lentils and Indian food, so whenever he says he doesn’t like something (which is rare!) I like to take it as a challenge. Because I am a menace.

I also tried out a few simple desserts. We had this oat milk chocolate pudding, which was good. Regular pudding with milk doesn’t sit great with me so I was happy to find this oat milk alternative. I got the Snacking Bakes cookbook from the library, which is the followup to the beloved Snacking Cakes. I tried the loaded chocolate chip cookie bars and the glazed cookie butter cookie bars. Both are great! The chocolate chip cookie bars did not last long in our house. I love making bars because you get all the joy of cookies without having to take things in and out of the oven for 45 minutes.

a bowl of baked steel-cut oats topped with sugar and pecans — it’s not possible to make oatmeal attractice

a glass containing a light-yellow colored smoothie — it’s not possible to make oatmeal attractice

Cat Therapy

Finally, here are some cat photos for your nerves. I know I have previously mentioned Huey’s love of drinking shower water. Here she is with her wet little face after vigorously shoving her face into my shower.

Huey the cat, her face upturned to the camera. The fur of her face is visibly wet. — Huey covered in shower water

Fritz the cat in loaf mode lying in the bed covers — Huey covered in shower water

weekly update

Two Weeks in the Life: January 7, 2024

Posted on January 7, 2024 by Lindsey

Hello, friends and enemies. It’s been kind of a rough week, not because the holidays are over (happy new year, by the way!) but just dealing with being alive is a lot sometimes. My lower back has been absolutely killing me when I’m sleeping at night, to the point that I was up in pain at 5:30 yesterday morning and could not go back to sleep. In my fugue state I read online that sometimes you need a new pillow configuration to encourage the spine into alignment. So, I ordered a bougie pillow to put under my knees and a new pillow for the normal place and we shall see if this helps. Last night I put a regular pillow under my knees and that helped a little, fortunately. It seems really unfair that bed is now a source of discomfort. This is the ultimate betrayal (bed-trayal?). I kind of have enough going on without not being able to sleep.

Books and Other Words

Jonathan Abernathy You Are Kind by Molly McGhee is about as bleak as possible while maintaining a dissonantly cheerful tone. That is to say, this is a very millennial novel. Jonathan Abernathy, known to most as just Abernathy, takes a job for the dream archive. When he sleeps, he reports to work. He identifies stressful motifs in other peoples’ dreams and directs his boss to vacuum them up. This work is pitched as a way to help America’s professional-managerial class stay productive at work, untroubled by nightmares. Abernathy has over $100,000 in student loan debt, his parents are dead, he rents a tiny room and can’t pay his bills. But he tells himself “You are kind. You are a pillar in your community,” and other feel-good mantras to try to get through the day, but ultimately he is hapless and a little naive. He just wants to pay his bills and have money to eat. He is complicit in various horrors. This indictment of modern life made me sad but in a good way.

Heart of the Sun Warrior by Sue Lynn Tan is the sequel to Daughter of the Moon Goddess, which I read last summer. Overall I liked the book, but the things that annoyed me a little about the characters in the first book were more annoying in this second book. I’m sorry, but a love triangle with two princes is just going to get old for me. Also, this is as good a chance as I’ll get to share this really amazing analysis of how the “good guy/bad boy love triangle” is a way to take a character through the hero’s journey. So please enjoy the fruits of my wanderings on tumblr.

book cover for Jonathan Abernathy You Are Kind shown in greyscale on kobo ereader — Jonathan Abernathy You Are Kind

book cover for Heart of the Sun Warrior, shown in greyscale on kobo ereader — Jonathan Abernathy You Are Kind

Meanwhile, on the internet:

Both Joyful and Killjoy, From the Desk of Alicia Kennedy. In this essay, Kennedy moves from thinking about grief to how she finds meaning in her corner of the world. What stuck with me here was this, “it is the job of those of us who are obsessed to make its realities, painful or joyful, apparent to those who don’t. It is our work to seek ways of making the necessary engagement with the food system by all people, who all eat, less of an ethical conundrum.” She’s talking here about being an expert in food, but I love this sentiment and it resonates deeply with me. We can’t all be experts in everything, but it is our responsibility to translate the things we are obsessed with to help others.
How will California’s new laws affect you? Via the Los Angeles Times. New year, new laws! California is up to a $16 minimum wage, workers are guaranteed at least five sick days, and we now have “reproductive bereavement leave” for dealing with grief after miscarriages and other family-planning woes.
Eight predictions for 2024 via Read Max. I’m mostly sharing this for the prediction that “internet atheist culture will have a revival.” I find it funny because I did really appreciate internet atheist blogs in the early 2000s, which gave me a lot of perspective as a young adult after I quit Mormonism. Although that niche of the internet was, ultimately, problematic.
Dunkey’s guide to streaming services via videogamedunkey on YouTube. It do be like that. @_@

TV and Music

One of my favorite end-of-year things is the Best of Bootie mashup album. Bootie is a group that throws dance parties featuring mashups—tracks spliced together from two or more songs—and they release a best-of album every December. I love mashups because I get to enjoy songs in new and surprising (and often deeply funny) ways. They also get me listening to songs I wouldn’t otherwise care about (for example, mashups are the only way I will experience Taylor Swift lol). I applaud the mad genius who put ABBA and Rage Against the Machine together in one song for this year’s album.

Corporeal Form

I went to the doctor this week to discuss the fatty liver diagnosis (can’t this condition have a better name? I know steatotic liver disease is an option, but no one knows what I mean if I say that). She confirmed what I had learned online, which is the only thing for me to do is lose weight. I have agreed to see a kaiser “wellness coach,” for whatever that will be worth. I’m assuming they’re going to tell me to eat less and move more and I’m gonna be like “kay.” I am slated to get a fibroscan of my liver this week to see how bad my liver is. However, the doctor said that this test often inflates the severity of the liver fibrosis in scans of fat people, so if the results are bad, I will need to get a liver biopsy, which sounds scary to me (giant needle poking in to the liver) but is, apparently, routine. I asked the doctor what the point of knowing is and she said that, if the liver disease is more advanced, doctors may refuse to perform operations due to the increased risk. I don’t have any operations lined up but it is important to know that there are consequences.

I polled my friends and scoured the internet this week in search of a nutritionist who might actually know something and be able to help me specifically. I wanted someone who knows about autism because I don’t need someone being like “eat eggs in the morning” and then me having to explain that I simply cannot eat them because they are icky to me for texture reasons and then getting gaslit about it. I am feeling pretty lucky because I found Jackie Silver nutrition. She works with autistic/neurodiverse people and disabled people. I had a consultation with her in which she asked what my food aversions are, which was pleasantly surprising. I told her that I know there’s not really evidence of any effective weight loss methods and I have been doing the work of being comfortable with myself yet my doctor said the only thing I can do is lose weight (although one of my friends quipped that maybe I should chop off a hand to drop the pounds since the doctor didn’t clarify that I should lose fat specifically) and I recognize that it sucks to approach a weight-neutral dietician with this problem but I need someone who gets it. Jackie said she would do some research but she is pretty sure there are dietary adjustments I can make that will help my liver be healthy even if I don’t lose weight, which made me feel a little better. So, I am going to work with her and I’ll let you know how it goes.

Moving It

Something exciting is I’m going to start taking a pre-pointe class this week! This is a step in learning how to dance en pointe in ballet. I actually had to adjust my work schedule a little bit because the class is early in the afternoon (because it’s full of youths). I am looking forward to learning something new and trying it out even though it’s probably going to be a very physically uncomfortable process.

Kitchen Witchery

I decided to have another go at making ravioli because I had a lot filling leftover from the batch I made at Christmas and I felt like I had it in me to do a better job. I did roll out a thinner dough and shape some good-looking raviolis, but I was defeated by my own foolishness. I stacked all the fresh pasta together while I was shaping the raviolis, and they of course stuck together in a big clump. I cooked it anyway and that resulted in an even worse clump. I did eat it for dinner all the same but I was fairly irritated about it all. I also attempted a ginger bread house, on the request of my niece who expressed a wish to decorate one, which was not structurally sound. Fortunately, it’s all the same to a four year old if you provide enough sprinkles and M&Ms to decorate with (and eat). I gotta share the failures to remind you all that I am just a human person like you.

For new year’s eve, I made this delicious garlic and herb sun bread. It reminds me of the breadsticks they have at Round Table Pizza, and I love those things. I also made some very good pizza (here’s the dough recipe I use). I did a pepperoni and onion, then a half cheese/half olive and roasted garlic because I had roasted garlic leftover from making the sun bread. On new year’s day, I made black-eyed peas and rice. Rancho Gordo always sends a “lucky” bag of black-eyed peas in their last bean club shipment of the year because it’s a southern tradition to cook them for good luck in the new year. It’s not necessarily a part of my belief system, but we did really like the beans. I followed this lobia masala recipe to make what is, essentially, a bean curry (although I know the photo doesn’t look like much, they were very good!). For a weeknight dinner, I made a version of this tortellini soup recipe. I like the recipe but I don’t always want it in soup form, so I reduce the liquid and I add some linguica because I can.

A pile of uncooked, handmade raviolis haphazardly stacked on a sheet of parchment paper. — Ravioli: attempt 2

A giant mush ball of cooked pasta and ravioli filling in a colander. All the raviolis stuck together and broke while cooking. — Ravioli: attempt 2

Cat Therapy

Finally, here are some cat photos for your nerves. Fritz will not stop biting and ripping up cardboard and paper. I don’t know what his deal is but don’t let him fool you into thinking we’re neglecting him.

Fritz the cat lying on top of me in bed, his little peets in front of him, looking coyly at the camera — Fritz, model

Fritz the cat on the table next to a cardboard box. He is tearing off strips of cardboard with his teeth. — Fritz, model

weekly update

A Year in the Life: 2023 in Review

Posted on January 1, 2024 by Lindsey

Hello, friends and enemies. Another has come to an end. This year I decided to write separate posts to review the year that was and consider the year that will be. I’ve already posted about what I want to do this year (a post that includes everyone’s favorite tradition, the mood board). Now that 2023 is officially done, I’m sharing my thoughts on the year as a whole.

Some of you may roll your eyes at this, but this year I finally started to think of myself as a writer. I know I am out here writing on the blog frequently, and this blog has existed for ten years now, and my job is to disassemble and reassemble words, but I still struggle to consider myself a writer. Yet, writing here and elsewhere is how I organize my thoughts and understand the world. I guess I think of writing books as writing. Anyone can set up a blog and put words on the internet (though blogs are not nearly as popular as they once were thanks to the scourge of video! [do not make me watch a video for information!]), so it doesn’t seem particularly noteworthy and yet, here I am, writing week after week. I also think of myself primarily as a reader, not a writer. Though both of course are engaging with the written word, just from different directions. In any case, here’s to not downplaying myself as a writer in 2024. I’m writing, therefore I am a writer.

This year I found a nice balance of being busy but not overwhelming myself (at least … not often overwhelming myself). I do want to do everything and have a tendency to just keep saying yes to shit or feeling like I have to do everything myself just because I can. The pandemic leveled my busyness out and forced me to think about what works for me. Now I’ve been engaging in public life a little more and finding a good balance. In contrast, when I was playing roller derby pre-pandemic, I was doing way too much. I need a lot of downtime. It is good to do nothing and pet cats. There is no moral superiority to be found in doing the most. That probably sounds a little counterintuitive because the next paragraph proudly announces how many books I read. However, it is not to me and I do not care to explain at this time.

Media

I read 82 books this year! The book list and a little analysis of the year’s reading trends is in my books of the year post. I’m proud and pleased that I put the time into resting and learning more and entertaining my mind. Reading time is also time I’m not spending on social media. As much as I love all my friends in my phone, the less time on my apps, the better.

Since I stopped using Spotify last year, this year, I organized all my MP3s, which was a pretty big task. I’m really happy with it though. I like not being lost in the algorithm and feeling like I know all my music. Some of my the music I enjoyed this year included Jungle, Vision Video, Janelle Monaé, Rosalía, and Yelle.

I watched eighteen movies this year, which is a lot for me! I also watched a lot of Star Trek and RuPaul’s Drag Race, which are my media of choice at this point in my life.

Languages

It was very nice to not have to study or think about any big exams this year! I am glad to have the DELE behind me (though it could still be ahead of me if I take the C2 exam … to be determined, but not anytime soon). With Spanish, I have entered my Wikipedia era. I’ve been having a lot of fun translating articles from Spanish to English and getting some help from Ana to translate from English to Spanish. For Icelandic, I spent the year still in my awkward intermediate stage where I don’t know quite enough of anything. That’s okay though. This is how it goes with any language.

Corporeal Form

Well, it has been another “fun” year for my health. I thought after I finished my year of vision therapy for binocular vision dysfunction, got the TMJ situation under control, and started taking care of my plantar fasciitis last year, things would let up. Alas, this has not been the case. This year I found out I have osteoarthritis (the kind you get from your joints wearing down with use, in contrast to rheumatoid arthritis, which is a chronic autoimmune disorder) and osteopenia (the precursor to osteoporosis). The doctor told me to strengthen my legs (lol) and stop eating bread. Thanks! So I got physical therapy from someone outside of my health insurance who works with dancers and she was extremely informative and helpful. I am not going to die anytime soon, but it is fatiguing to have even more ailments to manage. I dealt with this potentially TMI subject, which thankfully seems to have been resolved. But still, what the fuck? To end the year on a strong “please stop” note, just last week I got diagnosed with fatty liver disease. Being alive: it’s NOT easy.

Going Places and Doing Things

I suppose you could say I re-entered society a little more this year. Roller derby started again and, although I am no longer playing, in part thanks to my junk bones, I am still doing live game commentary, which I enjoy. I also spent the year being a patron of the arts. I went to the Sacramento Ballet’s performances with my culture gang, saw The Play That Goes Wrong at B Street Theater (which had everyone rolling with laughter), saw not one but two comedians with Abby, and like everyone, I saw the Barbie movie and took my obligatory photo in the doll box. I also got a new tattoo (part 1 and part 2 to this tale). I am definitely not getting any new tattoos in 2024. I have to forget the trauma first.

Sign for the Great Star Theater. Features two Chinese-style dragons — The Great Star Theater

me and Abby smiling at the camera in a dark theater — The Great Star Theater

Knitting and Crafts

It was a very slow year for knitting. I don’t know, I just haven’t been in the mood to knit. Or maybe it’s that Huey is sitting on me all the time when I’m on the couch. I’ve been very slowly working towards finishing this shirt. I think part of my resistance is it just doesn’t seem to be coming out quite right but it doesn’t look wrong enough to rip it all out again. I think I may finish it just so I can mentally move on. I did manage to knit a single pair of gloves this year so I can’t say I did nothing at all!

Moving It

I had a good time this year with my dance classes and got to do two recitals on an actual stage, which you know I love. I feel like I’m a respectable amateur at this point and I’m getting better all the time. I didn’t do all that much weight lifting, despite having the gym set up in the garage. I am planning to do more picking up and putting down of heavy objects in 2024.

Kitchen Witchery

It seems that I didn’t do any big experiments in the kitchen this year. The only really new thing that I tried out was scones, which were a hit and this has reminded me that I should make more. This was also the summer of the rice krispie treat, because of course one box of rice krispies is more than what you need to make a batch of treats, so that led to multiple variations, including my favorite: the black and white rice krispie treats. I also finally made it into the Rancho Gordo bean club, which is very exciting to me, regardless of how corny (beany, really) some might find this. Getting a steady supply of beans really guided my recipe selection this year. Some of my favorites were pizza beans, vegetarian tamale pie and baked farro with lentils, tomato, and feta. Although I think some of my best bean recipes were just soups that I threw together with what I had, which is a nice reminder that not everything has to be a formal recipe and that I’m a really good cook.

a sheet pan of freshly baked scones that are full of rasberry bits and chocolate chunks — rasberry-chocolate scones

a broccoli, onion, and blue cheese tart in a ceramic pie pan — rasberry-chocolate scones

Cat Therapy

I have one of the most photogenic cats in the business. Huey lives here too. Don’t get me wrong, I love Huey to bits, but everyone says she looks mad. She’s not though; she just has resting bitch face.

Finally, here are some of my favorite cat photos from this year for your nerves.

Fritz the cat nestled into a blue comforter. The blanket is hanging off the bed onto the floor and takes up the entire field of the photo. — Fritz serving us a perfect cat photo

Fritz the cat, sitting sideways in his play tube. His bottom half is shoved through a little window and his face is partially visible through the window on the other side — Fritz serving us a perfect cat photo

books

2023: The 16th Annual Year in Books

Posted on December 30, 2023 by Lindsey

Another year of reading is in the books! I love that I’ve been keeping track of my reading for almost my whole adult life—I started in 2008, when I was 21. I think it’s neat to be able to trace my interests and how I’ve formed my opinions on a lot of issues over time by seeing what I’ve read.

This year I finished a very respectable 82 books! This is quite a bit more than last year’s 51 (recall that last year I was doing a lot of work in vision therapy) and 2021’s 62 books (recall that I was taking that big Spanish exam that year). In 2020 (recall that … never mind) I read 88 books, so I guess I am reading more than I realized, even though I was once again disappointed to not read 100 books in a year. However, as I wrote in my plans for 2024 post, I am giving up that goal for good. If it happens, it happens. I’ve been joking that for every day I spend on the internet, I add three to five books to my reading list. There are just so many interesting books out there and unfortunately finite time in this existence (if any of you become a vampire, PLEASE turn me). I would like to take a year off of work and responsibilities to read a book every day and get caught up. I would also like the publishing industry to take a year-long moratorium on new works so I can get caught up. I think both of these requests are reasonable.

Page count: I read 27,566 pages. For comparison, last year I read about 18,000 pages in and 2020 I read just under 33,000. The most pages I’ve ever read in a year is 35,000 back in 2014 (when I had an office job and nothing to do all day).
Library use: 30 books from the library and 52 of my own books. Shout out to the library for saving me money! Thank you, local tax payers.
Digital and analog: 49 ebooks and 33 paper books. I’m definitely finding it easier to read the ebooks than the paper books lately. For example, I was trying to read this giant book about tap dance and it was hard to hold and the print was very small. I am weak, give me the ebook.
Fiction and non-fiction: 56 fiction and 26 non-fiction books. I am only growing more interested in the world around me, so I predict that my non-fiction to fiction ratio will increase over the next few years.
Instead of favorites, this year I am giving you some notable reads:
- Notable disappointment: Battle of the Linguist Mages by Scotto Moore. It sounds exactly like a book I should love but I did not love it! I barely finished it!
- Notable linguistics-themed fantasy: Babel: Or the Necessity of Violence: An Arcane History of the Oxford Translators’ Revolution by R. F. Kuang. This is the linguistics-themed fiction I want! Stick it to the fucking man!
- Notable history: Children of Ash and Elm: A History of the Vikings by Neil Price. I don’t know, I just really liked it! It covered so much ground and was so accessible.
- Notably almost making me learn Chinese right now even though I have enough going on: Kingdom of Characters: The Language Revolution That Made China Modern by Jing Tsu. The level of effort it took to standardize Chinese! How do you make a dictionary without an alphabet? How do you make a typewriter? It’s cool as hell.
- Notable autism book that low-key blew my mind: Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price.
- Notably spicy fantasy romance: A Power Unbound by Freya Marske.
- Notable Regency-era fantasy: Half a Soul by Olivia Atwater. I thought this whole series was fun to read and very sweet.
- Notable queer memoir: The Big Reveal: An Illustrated Manifesto of Drag by Sasha Velour. I love Sasha Velour’s view on art and drag and queer history.
- Notable story that feels like it’s gonna stay with me: Cantoras by Carolina de Robertis.

cover for Battle of the Linguist Mages shown in greyscale on kobo ereader — Battle of the Linguist Mages

cover image for Babel: An Arcane History shown on kobo ereader. Cover features a tall tower standing out among smaller buildings — Battle of the Linguist Mages

If you want to see what I read in previous years, you can click the books of the year tag to see all my past annual book posts.

If you would like to be book friends all year, you can join me on StoryGraph! My username is linzomatic.

And now: the list of books I read in 2023.

Date Finished	Title	Author
1/1	Armistice	Lara Elena Donnelly
1/3	Amnesty	Lara Elena Donnelly
1/7	High Times in the Low Parliament	Kelly Robins
1/14	Egypt’s Golden Couple: When Akhenaten and Nefertiti Were Gods on Earth	John Darnell, Collen Darnell
1/15	Miss Iceland	Auður Ava Ólafsdóttir
1/22	The Secret Life of Groceries: The Dark Miracle of the American Supermarket	Benjamin Lorr
1/22	Battle of the Linguist Mages	Scotto Moore
1/26	Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism	Amanda Montell
1/29	Black Water Sister	Zen Cho
2/2	Hotel Silence	Auður Ava Ólafsdóttir
2/4	Permanent Distortion: How the Financial Markets Abandoned the Real Economy Forever	Nomi Prins
2/13	Plain Bad Heroines	Emily M. Danforth
2/21	Babel: Or the Necessity of Violence: An Arcane History of the Oxford Translators’ Revolution	R. F. Kuang
2/25	“You Just Need to Lose Weight”: And 19 Other Myths About Fat People	Aubrey Gordon
2/28	Remote Control	Nnedi Okorafor
3/10	The Citadel of Weeping Pearls	Aliette de Bodard
3/13	Children of Ash and Elm: A History of the Vikings	Neil Price
3/19	The Darkness Manifesto: On Light Pollution, Night Ecology, and the Ancient Rhythms that Sustain Life	Johan Eklöf
3/19	Pirate Enlightenment, or the Real Libertalia	David Graeber
3/27	The Wolf in the Whale	Jordanna Max Brodsky
3/30	Outlawed	Anna North
4/8	The Sellout	Paul Beatty
4/12	The Big Con: How the Consulting Industry Weakens Our Businesses, Infantilizes Our Governments, and Warps Our Economies	Mariana Mazzucato, Rosie Collington
4/13	Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto	Tricia Hersey
4/16	The Age of Witches	Louisa Morgan
4/20	A Court of Thorns and Roses	Sarah J. Maas
4/28	The Etymologicon: A Circular Stroll through the Hidden Connections of the English Language	Mark Forsyth
4/30	Kingdom of Characters: The Language Revolution That Made China Modern	Jing Tsu
5/1	Caperucita se come al Lobo	Pilar Quintana
5/2	Half A Soul	Olivia Atwater
5/5	Ten Thousand Stitches	Olivia Atwater
5/13	Longshadow	Olivia Atwater
5/14	Tema Libre	Alejandro Zambra
5/18	A Court of Mist and Fury	Sarah J. Maas
5/25	A Court of Wings and Ruin	Sarah J. Maas
6/3	Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity	Devon Price
6/5	The Fairy Bargains of Prospect Hill	Rowenna Miller
6/7	The Big Reveal: An Illustrated Manifesto of Drag	Sasha Velour
6/10	Some Desparate Glory	Emily Tesh
6/22	The Librarian	Mikhail Elizarov
6/23	A Court of Frost and Starlight	Sarah J. Maas
6/29	A Court of Silver Flames	Sarah J. Maas
7/5	The Restoration Program	Mary Dublin, Anne Kendsley
7/11	The Book of Goose	Yiyun Li
7/12	An Everlasting Meal: Cooking with Economy and Grace	Tamar Adler
7/17	Strong Female Character	Fern Brady
7/19	Deep as the Sky, Red as the Sea	Rita Chang-Eppig
7/21	Ink Blood Sister Scribe	Emma Törzs
7/25	Camp Damascus	Chuck Tingle
8/1	Un vaso de agua bajo mi cama: Inmigración, feminismo y bisexualidad	Daisy Hernández
8/10	The Archive Undying	Emma Mieko Camden
8/12	Translation State	Ann Leckie
8/17	Lesbian Love Story: A Memoir in Archives	Amelia Possanza
8/20	Daughter of the Moon Goddess	Sue Lynn Tan
8/23	Sappho Is burning	Page DuBois
8/24	Vampires of El Norte	Isabel Cañas
8/27	Elite Capture: How the Powerful Took Over Identity Politics	Olúfẹ́mi O. Táíwò
8/29	To Be Taught, If Fortunate	Becky Chambers
9/4	Art in the After-Culture: Capitalist Crisis and Cultural Strategy	Ben Davis
9/7	The Saint of Bright Doors	Vajra Chandrasekera
9/14	The Jasad Heir	Sara Hashem
9/17	Red, White, and Royal Blue	Casey McQuiston
9/24	Land and Freedom: The MST, the Zapatistas and Peasant Alternatives to Neoliberalism	Leandro Vergara-Camus
9/24	Now Is Not the Time to Panic	Kevin Wilson
10/4	The Deep Sky	Yume Kitasei
10/19	Witch King	Martha Wells
10/24	All Systems Red	Martha Wells
10/24	Palestine: A Socialist Introduction	Sumaya Awad, Brian Bean
10/26	No Meat Required: The Cultural History & Culinary Future of Plant-Based Eating	Alicia Kennedy
10/29	Artificial Condition	Martha Wells
11/8	The End of Reality: How Four Billionaires are Selling a Fantasy Future of the Metaverse, Mars, and Crypto	Jonathan Taplin
11/17	Rogue Protocol	Martha Wells
11/21	The Hundred Years’ War on Palestine: A History of Settler Colonialism and Resistance, 1917-2017	Rashid Khalidi
11/22	Exit Strategy	Martha Wells
11/24	A Marvellous Light	Freya Marske
11/28	A Restless Truth	Freya Marske
12/1	A Power Unbound	Freya Marske
12/10	The Menopause Manifesto: Own Your Health with Facts and Feminism	Jen Gunter
12/20	The Hexologists	Josiah Bancroft
12/23	Cantoras	Carolina de Robertis
12/27	Jonathan Abernathy You Are Kind	Molly McGhee
12/29	Heart of the Sun Warrior	Sue Lynn Tan

weekly update

Two Weeks in the Life: December 25, 2023

Posted on December 25, 2023 by Lindsey

Hello, friends and enemies. Merry Christmas, happy Yule, blessed (if belated) solstice, or you know, it’s Monday. We have had a relaxing day at home today. I cooked dinner last night but Kirk is cooking today, so I have a whole day with zero responsibilities. This is great because the last week was rough.

I know everyone enjoys hearing about our homeownership drama, so I am entering the tale of the new dishwasher into the record. Neither Kirk nor I had any big Christmas wishes this year so we decided to instead spend some money on a new dishwasher. Our old one wasn’t broken, but it did somewhat frequently require us to go reset the circuit breaker for it to function and the bottom dish rack had a deeply annoying propensity to fall out of its track. We ordered a fancy new one from Home Depot and decided to just pay them to install it and haul away the old one. It took five entire visits from various tradespeople, three of them in the last week, to get this dishwasher installed:

Home Depot’s installers come to set up the dishwasher. We were young and full of optimism for the future. The installer promptly, but accidentally, snaps the water valve that connects to the dishwasher. After a scramble for a bucket, the old dishwasher remains functional and in place. The new dishwasher takes up residence in the garage. We are directed to call Home Depot to resolve the issue.
We call Home Depot and explain that they have to send a plumber to fix the valve and install the dishwasher. Some days later, new installers arrive. They inform us that they are not plumbers and they cannot fix the valve. We call (actually Kirk calls. Kirk valiantly spares me from all the phone calls in this story) Home Depot again and learn that the company they contract to do installations usually has plumbers available, but our specific region does not have plumbers. We are instructed to hire a plumber to fix the valve, then send Home Depot the invoice. Home Depot will not reveal the upper limit they are willing to reimburse us for this problem that they caused.
Our local plumber fixes the valve and charges us $225. The plumber does not do appliance installations. We tell Home Depot to send their installers again and finish what should have been an extremely simple task.
Home Depot’s installers return two days later to install the dishwasher. Finally, we are going to have a beautiful, quiet dishwasher. This nonsense will end. Not so. The installer removes the old dishwasher from its nook. We learn that there is no electrical outlet for the new dishwasher to be plugged into because the old dishwasher is hardwired into the wall. Its bundle of wires trails behind it like a rat’s thin tail. The installer, who happened to be the same non-plumber who visited us on our second attempt, perhaps senses our desperation. He tells us that he isn’t supposed to, but he’ll install the outlet for us. We thank him. We gather cash in preparation to tip him. Some minutes later, he informs us that he doesn’t have the right tools and cannot finish the installation. Still, he relives us of the old dishwasher and settles the new one, unconnected, into its cubby.
Kirk secures an electrician to come set up an outlet and finish installing the dishwasher. The electrician arrives early and we are near tears with relief. Finally, we will be free. We are ready to be done and put this saga behind us. We would pay any amount of money for this to stop. The electrician gets to work and seems to know what he’s doing. Unfortunately, we run into another problem. The dishwasher’s hose is too short to reach whatever it is that it’s supposed to connect with. Kirk gives up. He pays the man and resigns himself to a trip to Home Depot to buy a hose after work. After the electrician leaves, we discover he has, for no reason known to us, used a staple gun to affix the—for lack of a better word—dorsal flaps—of the dishwasher to the surrounding cabinetry. We are broken. I am a husk of a person. I spend the next 10 minutes laughing/screaming “Why would you do that! WHY.” Kirk says he will remove the staples. However, the scars will linger.

These five ghosts of appliance installation visited us, but this story is not yet over. Kirk went to Home Depot only to be informed that the hose we need is back ordered until January. I can only assume that removing the old dishwasher unleashed a powerful curse upon our household. That dishwasher was under the protection of some ancient force and now we are paying for our arrogance. Fortunately, Kirk double checked online and found the right hose was available and shippable. It arrived on Saturday and Kirk installed it. He also tore out the offensive staples (shouting the whole time, as is his right). The new dishwasher is nice, but the electrician who finished the install did not secure it very well (I mean … maybe he thought he did with the staples) and it’s still kind of rocking back and forth so we have to figure that out. Despite all this chaos there were only two days of not having a functional dishwasher and I mostly used paper plates on those days. I’m just fucking glad it’s over! I am tired!

Behind-the-scenes showing the wire running from the wall to the old dishwasher, the plug for the new dishwasher, and the irritating lack of an outlet — stupid hardwired dishwasher

dishwasher flaps stapled with big, staple-gun staples to the cabinetry — stupid hardwired dishwasher

Books and Other Words

The Hexologists by Josiah Bancroft was a fun read. It’s a detective story set in a world where different types of magic practitioners—wizards, necromancers, hexologists, and alchemists—exist, but most forms have fallen out of favor or, in the case of alchemy, have been bent to fuel a sort of industrial revolution. Isolde Wilby is a hexologist, which means she can make magic through drawing. She’s also a private investigator and former cop (though she now has a real “fuck the police” attitude). She gets asked to solve a high-profile case for the government and hijinks ensue. I liked this book and was surprised by it’s use by very specific or maybe archaic words that had me frequently turning to the dictionary, which doesn’t happen to me too often in English. I also enjoyed the main character, who, to me, is very autism-coded, and her relationship with her spouse. I have probably said this before but there are not a lot of good portrayals of loving, healthy heterosexual relationships out there so it’s always nice to see that on the page.

I’m not shocked that Cantoras by Carolina de Robertis was good because my friend Lito said it was worth reading and he has great taste. I really loved this book. It follows the lives five queer women in Uruguay, beginning in the 1970s. This band of ladies escapes the city of Montevideo for a week to vacation in Cabo Polonio, a nowhere beach village far off the beaten track where our protagonists can actually breathe and be themselves without the fear of surveillance or being reported. This is an excellent story and I liked the way all the characters’ lives were portrayed, how the intersected and became their own chosen family. I liked the exploration of queer identity in a less modern, less anglo setting. The book also made me think about how much we can learn from fiction—not just in an emotional way or an understanding-the-human-condition way, but in a literal way. I had no idea, for example, that there was a dictatorship in Uruguay in the 70s and 80s (though I suppose I could have inferred it given the state of much of South America at the time). I’d never heard of Cabo Polonio either, but thanks to internet magic, I can see lots of pretty photos of it. I think fiction like this can be a portal into learning more about real-world events, and I appreciate that. Cantoras also made me sad for all the queers we lost along the way before humanity started getting its shit together in that regard. We lost many stories and lives but at least we have artists like de Robertis bringing light to what may have been.

book cover for The Hexologists shown on kobo ereader — The Hexologists

book cover for Cantoras, shown on kobo ereader — The Hexologists

Meanwhile, on the internet:

Why Bill Gates’s Philanthropy Is a Problem via The Nation. Bill Gates has made a reputation for himself as the “good” billionaire, but he’s still making more money than he’s giving away. You’re not helping the world if you still have over $100 billion. From the article, “Gates’s vast wealth could help the world in far-reaching ways, for example if it were redistributed as cash gifts to the poor. That can’t happen through the Gates Foundation’s father-knows-best, look-at-me brand of bureaucratic philanthropy. Gates isn’t interested in empowering the poor; he’s interested in imposing his solutions. Following the money from the Gates Foundation confirms this. Nearly 90 percent of the foundation’s charitable dollars go to organizations located in wealthy nations, not the poor countries he claims to serve.”
California police required to state reason for traffic stops before questioning drivers next year via Los Angeles Times. New law alert! “No, do you?” is now a valid response to “Do you know why I pulled you over?”
Congress, Wrapped! 2023. via The Washington Post (gift link). Congress really spent the year fucking around and engaging in tomfoolery and a much larger scale than normal.
Inside The New York Times’ big bet on games via Vanity Fair. As someone who has become an avid player of NYT’s games, I enjoyed this profile on the team and their process.

Autism Thoughts

I had one of those “You don’t seem autistic” moments recently where one of my fellow dance students said (well meaningly, I have no doubt) that I seem to be only mildly autistic. I get why we call autism a “spectrum,” but I think this term is confusing people who don’t know much about autism. It’s not a spectrum of intensity where you just keep turning the autism up. I don’t have autism at a low volume. If you’re autistic, the whole brain is autistic. There are autistic people with higher or lower support needs (side note: I hate the illustrations in this article but the information is decent). Some of us need more help to navigate the world and the day to day than others. That need for help is usually what tips the neurotypicals off to the autism. However, even a relatively low support needs autistic person like me still needs help and I still need a lot of time to recuperate from operating in the world. It’s easy to look “normal” in an environment like dance class—there are scripts and specific rules about how to behave and not a lot of open-ended socializing. I don’t have to figure out what I’m supposed to do in class. I know ballet starts at the barre and then we’ll do some work in the center. Class generally progresses in the same order from plies to tendus to rond de jambes and it’s guided by the teacher so I don’t have to figure out what to do next. I do get that, to a non-expert, wanting to be on stage doesn’t seem really autistic. However, I don’t have to be in the crowd, I get to do a set routine that I’ve practiced, and I’m participating in one of my hobbies. No one is making small talk with me. I can go backstage and if I am overwhelmed and need quiet, I can tell people I need to practice/stretch/warmup on my own or I need to get into a good headspace. There are plenty of autistic people in the performing arts (though of course there are plenty of autistic people who would say “fuck you, no way” to performing, which is also fine). We just are going home to stare at the wall for a full day before coming back to the theater to be on for you all. I can’t find the clip, but I’m also reminded of the character Abed from Community. He says he loves musicals because everyone is singing a song to announce their emotions. He’s not wrong.

A picture of a volume dial on a stereo with the word "autism" replacing "volume." The dial goes from "off" to 10. — turn up the autism

a dynamic graph showing ten traits in a circle. How much those traits affect someone are filled in at different levels. — turn up the autism

Corporeal Form

You may remember that I wrote last time about possibly having fatty liver disease. Well, the results are in and I actually do have fatty liver disease and the unlucky genetic profile that makes me more susceptible to liver disease.

First, the genetics: after detecting the alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency in my blood, the doctor ordered a phenotype test to see exactly what, if any, kind of genetic fuckery could be the cause. The test found that I have the MZ phenotype, a heterozygous type which means that only one of my parents is to blame (you’re on notice, mom or dad! [just kidding]). This phenotype means I am more susceptible to liver and lung disease. Though fortunately it sounds like most people with this phenotype won’t develop emphysema (!!) if they don’t smoke. So I have that going for me at least. I also learned there is a research foundation dedicated to this and I signed up for their study. Maybe I will make a few dollars from participating in science thanks to my dumb genes.

Second, the liver: on Tuesday morning, I went in for an abdominal ultrasound. They looked at my liver, spleen, and gallbladder. It’s actually really cool that we can use technology to look at the organs in the body. Rather less cool though is the fact that the ultrasound confirms I have fatty liver disease—also called steatoic liver disease—and an enlarged spleen (I know you are all jealous of my large and powerful spleen that is 15.8 cm long). The term for having an enlarged spleen is splenomegaly, which I think is a very funny word. I’m actually glad I’m no longer playing roller derby because one of the things you should avoid if you have an enlarged spleen is trauma to the abdomen. I read a fair amount about liver disease this week and everyone seems to say the same thing when it comes to treatment: avoid alcohol, lose weight, take your diabetes medication, and get vaccinated for hepatitis. I’m already very rarely drinking and I’m vaccinated. I don’t have diabetes so we are once again back to the question of weight loss, a subject on which I have already shared my feelings. I don’t really know what I’m going to be able to do about this to be honest. I am meeting with the doctor after the new year to review my life and see what I need to change. I also have an appointment to get a fibroscan, which is another way to measure how fucked up my liver is.

I know I try to write about this stuff with a bit of a light tone but I’m actually really stressed and upset about this one. There isn’t really treatment for fatty liver. The answer is lose weight but that’s just to reduce the risk of serious issues. Not all fat people get fatty liver and being thin doesn’t mean you won’t get it. The only treatment is like … liver transplant once you have cirrhosis. I am hoping the doctor will tell me some news I can use next week but I am not feeling particularly optimistic.

a wide-eyed hamster on a couch. Text reads: I can't fucking take it/seriously I'm at my limit — seriously I’m at my limit

Moving It

My dance recital was last Friday! I had fun and I think it went well overall. However, I do feel like I totally blanked on a large portion of our tap dance choreography. Like, my brain just shut off. I kept smiling and twirling and hopefully didn’t stand out in a bad way. Everyone said I looked good so I suppose I must believe them! I fooled them all! I completely forgot to take any photos so you’ll just have to trust that I looked wonderful.

Kitchen Witchery

You might think I would go berzerk cooking for Christmas but I already gave treats to everyone who’s getting them and I don’t like to create too much work on Christmas itself. I did cook for Christmas eve though. This year I opted for a homemade pasta, using a recipe for potato-filled tortellini from Pasta Grannies. Pasta fools me every time though and I always make it too thick. I forget that it puffs up when you boil it, but I kinda like it this way. I made a loaf of Italian bread (recipe: King Arthur) to go with the pasta and I made a princess cake for dessert using the recipe from The Nordic Baking Book! Princess cake has layers of cake, jam, and pastry cream. It’s topped with a big dome of cream and then the whole cake is covered with (traditionally light-)green marzipan. Everyone liked it but I thought the marzipan tasted a little weird. I am blaming the food coloring I used (does food coloring go bad?). Unrelated to Christmas, last week I also made a loaf of bread using semolina flour just to try something different. This recipe is from the king of bread cookbooks, The Bread Bible. It’s a chewy little loaf and I thought it was, of course, very nice with some cheese.

a cross section of a loaf of bread made with semolina flour — semolina loaf

a braided loaf of bread cooling on a rack — semolina loaf

Cat Therapy

Finally, here are some cat photos for your nerves. Fritz is still extremely wary of the Christmas tree, but he’s not as scared of it as he was last year, so that’s good. He also annoyed the shit out of Huey by taking up residence on the couch a few days ago. And it wasn’t just anywhere on the couch, but her side of the couch. He has no respect for his elders and Huey is tired of it.

Fritz the cat sleeping in his bed on top of the dining table. The Christmas tree is a few feet away. — Fritz creeping closer to the Christmas tree

Huey the cat curled up in a ball on top of a pillow — Fritz creeping closer to the Christmas tree